Yeah.

But I guess I can find it in a second.

When I was on that tour, the first session I gave, I had never done a session like this before.

I knew I'd figure it out and I trusted that.

And when I shared the first time that story, it had been 30 years since my mom was killed.

For those listening, my mom was killed by a drunk driver.

And I wrote a letter to her that she received a few hours before her death.

So let's talk about that.

What is that way?

Oh.

I want to get emotional because it's so beautiful.

It's when the seer and the beer are equally inhabiting your consciousness.

It's this Andy who is so pathetic and judgmental and frustrated and angry.

And then the seer simultaneously laughing at him and having fun and not giving anyone the control.

And then seeing the construction of everything in terms of the narration And how that narration is defining me as I'm, it's almost like the humor of even seeing myself do anything and then realize that that way I'm creating an identity and I'm now stuck again.

My grandfather was that.

Really well done.

Yeah.

I'm really grateful that you got into it.

Yeah, it's, you know, uh, there's a, stories that I repeat over and over again because they kind of fit the narrative, but when you repeat them so often, it, it, they feel like they lose a little bit of the emotion.

But I, I, I'll still repeat it only because it, it's relevant, was that when I've gone through my life, you know, I, I, my freshman year in school, I told you, I, y- I, I mentioned that, you know, my mom died when I was 18, and, and before she died, I was taking a sociology of death class, and that classJust, just, just by chance, it was just, I said, "Again, I wanna move into my discomfort." I, I realized, well, I'm gonna lose everything I loved, and then I was compelled to write her a letter that she got an- only a few hours before she was killed by this drunk driver.

And so this sense that, oh, there's an urgency to life that I'm not going to, um, I'm not gonna, like, let slip through my fingers, that's, that carried me sort of at a very young age.

And then, you know, fast-forward 30 years later, my mentor had cancer, non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, and he had, you know, five years to live, and everyone said, "Hey, you know, relax.

What example [inaudible]