Yeah.

The other thing that I wanted to say about this that I try to tell people is that a couple of things.

One, we have to care, I think, in relationships with others about... how people are doing as much.

We have to care about that as much as, if not more than what they are doing.

And I think a lot of parents make the mistake of being like, did you apply for that job? How's your math class going? Right.

Like, did you talk to your roommate about this? Right.

And so it's, it, the, the, And sometimes those kinds of questions can really feel like pressure.

I think if you have a disconnect with a child, I think the longer you need space to process, if you had a problem, but the longer you stop, you talk, you don't, the longer you don't talk, the easier it becomes not to talk.

right? It's

not about like whether something's okay or not okay.

I mean, honestly, people should, they're going to live their lives the way they see fit.

So it's not from a place of judgment, but it's more a question at what cost? Right.

At what cost are you cutting these people off? Because when we reduce people to their worst moments and we say these moments are so bad that we cannot see your human goodness anymore, you have no value or business in my life anymore.

Right.

we're not seeing the nuance, right? We're not acknowledging humanity.

Like what, how do we heal here? I