Mm.

And, uh, I wanted to tell stories.

I wanted to be on stage.

I wanted to sing.

I wanted to be...

I just wanted to, to take up space with expression, and I just kept expecting it to fade out, and I think everyone arou- around me was like, "You know, she'll grow out of it, like, when she gets, you know, through uni, you know, th- once she finishes college.

Like, she'll, she'll grow out of it," and I just never grew out of it.

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How did you face that? How did you get through that?

that?You know, the truth of the answer is, is I cried a lot and I think that I want to give permission to anyone who ...

And we all will navigate this.

So I was about to say anyone who navigates this, but we will all navigate this as creators and as anyone who's making something and putting it out there.

We will all navigate a moment where we care, but nobody else cares, where we know we have something to give, but nobody else knows we have something to give.

And that's a really difficult place to sit, but it's a place that everyone has to sit at some point, and we all have to wait it out, and we all have to, to take care of ourselves in those moments.

But that said, I- you don't have to tough it out.

Looking back now, what were the challenges or what was easy about self-publishing it, becoming an indie author?

Yeah.

It's crazy, isn't it? I wrote something the other day.

Let me see if I can find it.

It's about exactly this.

Like we've been sold in the narrative that to want more or like we've been sold, you know, we sit in the system.

We're like, oh, I just really want more choice.

I really want more.

and you said to me and I feel like we've touched on this a lot already but you said to me that you're in this space right now of like potentially being less interested in asking people to make space for their art and more interested in asking like why our lives have been arranged in this way and we've spoken to this but I wonder like you said you're on the edge of saying something more bluntly what is it you want to say around the way that we live right now if you were to say it with like zero filter what