Mm-hmm

... and this is about 2000 and...

I think it's 2021, and I went to Tulum for this founder retreat, and I had just moved to Miami.

I knew no one.

I was single.

I really was only focused on startup and kids.

I go to this founder retreat, and they had us do this exercise where we close our eyes and think about our most perfect day.

Where are you pulling this from, and what skill sets have you developed that have allowed you to be able to build that type of income now?

So it's not like you were sitting around going, "What should I fill my time with?" What made you decide that this needed to be written?

So I don't know if you've read Eve Rodsky's latest book, Unicorn Space, but really, I started writing during COVID and then a lot more after COVID, after I sold my B2C startup in a s- in an equity deal.

And I started writing as kind of a cathartic, therapeutic way to understand and process a lot that I had gone through both...

And for those that don't know my backstory, I was leading marketing at The Knot prior to COVID.

I had three kids under the age of four, and I filed for divorce.

And in a time that I think society wanted me to pick a very neat box, like you're either girl bossing and leaning in and breaking glass ceilings, or you are domestic and a great mom and a tradwife, I found myself needing to hold both equally and wanting to do both and needing to do both because I was really financially on my own.

And I started to, once I got out of survival mode and I could process a lot of the things that had happened during that couple of year span, I started writing, and then that turned into me thinking, "Maybe I should start doing a newsletter.

Yes.

I also can see somebody, though, hearing that and going, "Okay, so the answer is I take it all on myself and I never ask for help." So what is the difference between owning certain parts of your life, having knowledge about certain parts of your life or a business or, you know, money, and when do you decide, "Actually, I do need help," or, "I do need to not try to do this all myself"?

So I have a full-time EA now that I hired probably before I ever needed one.

And if you saw how I optimize and delegate now, it isThat was the skill set I had to get really good at really fast, which was, okay, I'm now a single mom, three kids, and at that time, I had raised a couple million dollars for a VC-backed startup that I was the founder of.

So I needed to figure out how to get everything that's in my brain out of it so that other people could think like me and still perform the tasks I...

And so everything, I have two kind of cohorts of, of things that I think about, rituals and tasks.

Rituals are things that happen every day, every week, every month, every quarter, every year.

They happen all the time.

... how can they start without just adding another item to their to-do list?

Um, curious, you know, you started unpacking it there, but for those that might be new to the phrase toxic grit, can you just define kind of what, what, what you mean by it?

The simple definition is hustle without intention.

Right.

So it's OK to hustle as long as you have intention.

And I think that there's a couple of things to to append on to that definition.

It's, you know, you believe that you are made for more.

So you're going to go try to chase it.

Does burnout show up for you? I...