But yet you found an unease in that to say, where is that line and where does it become kind of just ho-hum? Talk about momentum and sort of sussing out whether you're at, whether it's okay to just be in that sweet spot of competence and when a person wants a little bit more.

Well, competence is a wonderful thing, right? Like it makes us forget all the things that we don't know how to do when we are good at our job.

We have we walk around with a sense like I walk around with a sense that I'm a very competent person only to find out there's so many things I have no idea how to do simply because, you know, I feel a competency in my work because I've been doing it so, so long.

And I think that is a wonderful place to be.

I think where, you know, along this continuum, I think what I started to feel was, you know, My work is very well practiced.

And while I am very filled with gratitude that I have had all these years as a science reporter, it is a simple formula that I use every time to tell a story.

And my life started to feel bigger or more wanting than that formula.

Tell us a little bit about that.

I [laughs] I loved the, um, the part about your friend MB and optimism.

Ah.

Yes, yes.

Love, love, love her story.

Um, and I think the main point, just to bring all the listeners up to speed quickly, my friend Mary Beth, uh, was diagnosed with cancer in her early 40s, had two young children, and, um, chemotherapy did not work, so she needed a stem cell, uh, tr- uh, treatment replacement.

And, um, so she, uh, you know, went to meet with her oncologist, and she said, "What are my odds, doctor?" And this was, you know, 20 years ago.

And he said, "Well, you know, if you really want a number, I'll be honest, your odds are about 30%." And she kind of shook her hand in the air, and she was like, "Yes!" You know, yes, I can live with that.

And just, it's just, you know, a few pages, but it's well worth the read.

And you came to an interesting realization when you were interviewing Richard Schwartz around that, your own striver self.

Yes.

So I think when I first interviewed Richard Schwartz, it was for a story.

It was really not about me.

I was doing a series for NPR called Stressless, and I had been hearing a lot about IFS, and I'd reached out to him for an interview.

And, you know, this was supposed to be an interview where he sort of just described, you know, what is IFS, which stands for internal family systems? Where did it come from? How did you come up with it? And within five minutes of the interview, he kind of like turned the tables on me.

It was actually quite extraordinary.

incubating

That's M-Y-S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T dot com slash daily.

Hi, I'm Allison Aubrey, longtime science and health correspondent for NPR News and a contributor to CBS Sundays.

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