I knew it wasn't following God's will for my life and finally surrendered to it and said, all right, God, not my will, but your will.

I just remember David was a pretty serious student and he had presented his call to be a missionary in Haiti.

And I also had felt that God wanted me to do some missions work.

So I knew from the time that we first started dating that if we ended up getting married, that we were going to serve God in Haiti together.

Our kids were kidnapped in Haiti in 2005, Davey and Hannah.

along with another one of our children from the children's home.

But God intervened and we were able to get him back 21 hours later.

He would be 26.

and sperm wise, you should be able to get hundreds, right? Yeah.

Yeah.

A hundred thousand millions, you know, there should be more than enough to choose from.

Yeah, so because that third round, we got no embryos, somehow that didn't count as a round.

So we actually... got a third public funded round which is not usually what happens but just with the timing of it all wow so I'm really thank you New Zealand health system we're done now we don't get anything more from here if nothing works okay yeah so our fourth IVF round was this year in April and I like I was kind of pissed off about this because I don't know what happened because I had the same amount of follicles I was tracking similar because they'll they'll look at all of your follicles while you're doing the stims while you're on the medication and be like okay looks like we're gonna get maybe this many eggs and follicles doesn't always mean eggs because like the last couple I'd done I'd got like 20 or so follicles and I'd got from a range of 19 to 10 eggs And this time I had 15 follicles and I only got six eggs.

And I was like, are you serious? We finally got good sperm and that's it.

And only five of those were mature.

Is it to the point where it's something that you think about all the time or do you compartmentalize it? Are you able to focus on other things?