Oct 3, 2026 · 28 min · 17 segments
My pathetic Panera phone call, doctor’s office shenanigans, probably live Xmastime breakdown on the show. **TED AND MARY** Larry and Cheryl enjoy their bowling double-date with Ted Danson and Mary…
Here's me near the beginning of my call with Panera's customer service, which I had to use AI to track down.
I don't understand, because this isn't like Netflix adding a dollar to the, you know, same subscription.
This is a whole different thing.
Ooh, firm.
Came out of the gate hot.
Let her know the problem.
Let her know I am not to be trifled with.
Let's continue.
Um, thank you for-
I mean, why don't they just make it where, why don't they make it where you have to eat a m- a muffin every day? You understa- It's just totally arbitrary.
It went from being s- unlimited to very limited.
That's the point.
That's the point.
Ouch.
Shiv to the heart.
That's what we call sticking it to you.
Pretty good, huh, so far? Pretty good, huh? Okay, th- this next moment for me is a bit of a mic drop.
I'm bringing in knowledge, uh, asking questions, giving it a twist.
Ooh.
Unfortunately, that's how the program works right now.
I noticed when you call customer service, uh, zip club and this rewards club are two different options.
One of them's number two and one of them's number three.
Now, if they're the exact same thing, no big deal, why would they have two different buttons when you're calling customer service anyway? Damn, checkmate, motherfuckers.
Bye.
Here's me near the beginning of my call with Panera's customer service, which I had to use AI to track down.
I don't understand, because this isn't like Netflix adding a dollar to the, you know, same subscription.
This is a whole different thing.
Ooh, firm.
Came out of the gate hot.
Let her know the problem.
Let her know I am not to be trifled with.
Let's continue.
Um, thank you for-
I mean, why don't they just make it where, why don't they make it where you have to eat a m- a muffin every day? You understa- It's just totally arbitrary.
It went from being s- unlimited to very limited.
That's the point.
That's the point.
Ouch.
Shiv to the heart.
That's what we call sticking it to you.
Pretty good, huh, so far? Pretty good, huh? Okay, th- this next moment for me is a bit of a mic drop.
I'm bringing in knowledge, uh, asking questions, giving it a twist.
Ooh.
Unfortunately, that's how the program works right now.
I noticed when you call customer service, uh, zip club and this rewards club are two different options.
One of them's number two and one of them's number three.
Now, if they're the exact same thing, no big deal, why would they have two different buttons when you're calling customer service anyway? Damn, checkmate, motherfuckers.
Bye.
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