Always on Edge? Why Your Body Braces Before Anything Happens

So let's start by looking at, like, what does it actually mean to be chronically braced? What does it look like? And let's see if you can see yourself in this.

First of all, the physical layer.

So it could feel like your nervous system feeling raw, you know, like a cut.

I've explained it this way to my kids, like a cut that is open.

And so like even the slightest kind of thing can send you off.

It could also feel like your muscles are constantly tight and sore, your jaws clenched.

And maybe you're struggling with sleep.

Maybe you wake up exhausted even when you slept well.

And then there's the mental layer.

I don't know if you've ever had that feeling that you're kind of running a constant early warning system.

It kind of goes like, will they judge me if I say that? Is he angry at me? Will he leave? Am I enough? Am I too much? Have I done something wrong? Those kind of questions on repeat.

Then there's the relational layer.

Maybe you're feeling irritable or overly irritable with your kids, your partner, your family, your colleagues.

Maybe you're constantly monitoring everyone else's emotional state.

You're peacekeeping, rescuing, managing the room.

And then a tipping point happens.

The smallest thing sends you into a full stress spiral.

I know this really well.

I'm naturally a really highly sensitive person, which is something that I've come to see as an absolute beautiful character about me.

But I used to think of it as a curse.

I was constantly searching for threats.

You know, I would problem solve in my head the worst case scenarios and what I needed to do about it.

I'd be monitoring and managing everyone else's emotional state, reading danger into the slightest raised tone, curt email, and basically physically holding myself in this chronic tension in my back, my neck, my jaw.

I remember, I mean, there's so many examples, but one is a former boss who once completely lost his shit at me.

And after that, I went into every meeting with him, every interaction braced, like clenched, everything tight, shoulders up, braced, scanning his body language and tone, subconsciously assessing for threat.