Ep163 - Relational Intelligence with Maria Ruberto

Yeah, I love that.

That's great.

I was thinking around when you were talking there, I was also thinking about that relationship That biology component as well, which is when you're, if you do feel like it, the information is, we're transacting on information and, you know, bring me solutions only and you don't feel essentially safe to connect.

From a biology perspective, I imagine that that is just then a stress response, which means you can't really logically think as well either.

Is that right?

Yeah.

So look, at Salutagenics, we have a methodology.

It's our signature methodology that we use in all of our training, which is our triple B approach.

So we call it biology before behavior.

And biology before behavior asks a really important question.

So rather than saying, why hasn't that task been finished? How many emails have been sent? What am I delegating and who's doing what? Biology Before Behavior asks, well, what is my nervous system experiencing of you prior to some outcome that is being chased? Because if I am with my manager who is short and who's dusty and that gives minimal eye contact, and it's not just about the eye contact, it's about being present.

then my nervous system becomes rigid and it wants to go into protection.

And so my thinking about what I need to do becomes narrow.

I lose perspective.

And so her focus may be on what I'm not getting done, but my nervous system is so attuned to the fact that her nervous system is really quite disconnected from me.

So biology before behavior tells us to really think about our relational space that we're creating for the other person so that we can feel seen and valued.

And also that I have a meaningful place.

for this conversation, which sort of changes the game because if we understand that our nervous system really shapes our behavior, then my nervous system as a leader is actually going to heavily influence the nervous system of the team.

And there's a really big piece there.

Yeah.

Okay.

Practically that makes so much sense.

I experience good connections as more of a intuitive feeling more so than a like, you kind of almost can't measure the feeling of feeling like when I'm working with someone, maybe someone in my team, you know, like, like there's a good connection there.

And intuitively it is a biology before behavior type.

Yeah.