When Survival Patterns Become Career Strengths: Knowing When to Let Go

The very first one is to change the subject because we're driven women.

Everyone comes in with that same.

They want to focus on my gosh, what's going to happen and what am I going to do? Right.

So it's like really changing the subject because same question, same answer.

So the first step is really to bring grace to.

Right.

So it's like starting to even just be at a place where it there isn't anything to do right now and bring grace to where you are.

Because even just the nervous system and people starting to, women starting to say, okay, like, it's okay, like where you are right now.

I know it doesn't feel okay.

I know there's things going on.

But to kind of just bring that grace to it first, because there's a grief that has to happen.

And unless like that starts to, there starts to be a space for someone to actually bring the grace to it, bring compassion to it.

Because once there's grace and compassion, it's almost inevitable that some sort of thing's gonna open up where someone can say, wow, like how did I get here? You know, but not from a place of I'm wrong or I did something bad or I messed things up too much, but like really to practice that grace.

And when you say grief, grieving the life they thought they should have? Well, for themselves, first and foremost, I'll use myself as an example.

I spent so much of my life being a people pleaser.

I mean, it was like I couldn't even see it.

I mean, I could see some of it, but I couldn't see the layers and like really how it showed up because people pleasing can come across like you don't even know sometimes when people are people pleasing.

But, like, I could really see, like, how much damage it caused me in my voice and in the things that I wasn't saying.

And it was holding me back in so many areas.

So the grief, first and foremost, I really believe has to be, like, kind of the love, you know, for yourself.

Like, to be able to look back and... just love how you got there to begin with.

Like you have to like love yourself again.

And that piece really does open up an original space of how like, well, why did I create people pleasing to begin with? Why am I living my life through that lens? So those are kind of like the first steps.

I feel like I need to say this for the listeners is like I had done so much work in my life.

I mean, therapy and workshops and I mean, certifications, becoming a coach, all of those things.