Office Ours: Busy Isn't Better (with Dr. Jessica Stern)

What if the busiest thing about your friendships isn't your calendar, but the story you're telling yourself? Dr. Jessica B. Stern is a licensed clinical psychologist, a faculty member at NYU Langone Health, and the host of Doctor Radio on SiriusXM. She's also the founder of Three Lemons, a firm that helps people and organizations reduce burnout and build more sustainable ways of working. Dr. Miriam sits down with her real-life friend and colleague, Dr. Jessica Stern, to dig into why "I'm so busy" has become our default answer to everyone, including the friends who matter most. Together they unpack why busyness got glamorized into a badge of honor, how "I'm so busy" can quietly double as an excuse (sometimes without us even realizing it), and why friendships start to feel like just another item on the to-do list. They also get into why friendships naturally diverge as we age (people marry, have kids, chase promotions, or buy houses) and why that doesn't have to mean the friendship is over, just changing shape. Dr. Jessica leaves us with concrete tools like getting specific instead of defaulting to "busy," "stacking" connection onto things already on your calendar, and getting honest about the stories we tell ourselves about what someone else's busyness really means. This one is for anyone who's ever answered "how are you?" with "so busy" and meant something else entirely. *Pull up a chair. Permission to not be busy, granted.* -- Follow your new friend: @drjessicabstern Your friendship questions deserve answers. Reach out at hello@thetwopeasonapod.com, on social media or, pick up the phone and call or text with your friendship story or questions at 615-PODLINE (That's 615-763-5463).  Stay in touch with us:  - @thetwopeasonapod - @miriamkirmayer - www.miriamkirmayer.com --  Two Peas on a Pod is hosted by Dr. Miriam Kirmayer. Executive produced by Zoe Travis, Matthew Hoffman, Katya Kaminsky, and Dr. Miriam Kirmayer. Produced and edited by Podcast Nation (Producers: Madison Brit and Alesha Pannier, Audio Engineer: Miles Carter). Original music by Sarah Walk. Created by Zoe Travis and Matthew Hoffman. Two Peas on a Pod is recorded in Montreal and Los Angeles. Cover photo by Katya Kaminsky.   Today's show contains information that is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This program is not a substitute for psychological or medical advice. Please seek out your own support and research as needed. Take care, friends.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.