I Want To Feel Again
Cody explains what recovery finally revealed
TrapDraw Podcast – No Laying Up
Sep 10, 2026 · 1 hr 40 min · 14 segments
Neil catches up with Cody to debrief on his recent trip to Mexico to undergo ibogaine treatment. Join us in our support of the Evans Scholars Foundation…
Neil SchusterHostSo yeah, before we get home, so that was, uh, take my second dose on Wednesday.
Thursday, again, is a very hard day.
You're recovering, trying to figure it all out.
Friday is a little bit better.
More group therapy.
I did the, the crazy brainwave, uh, meditation thing that rocked my world, and you're just feeling, like, by that point in time, everybody in the group was feeling so much better, and more giggles and, you know, you, you're creating a true bond with them.
You also get your phone back on Friday night, which is, uh-
... just crazy for me because, like I said, I think I told you this, is that, um, I knew we, we recorded the first part of this podcast before I left.
I just had totally forgot when it was gonna be released.
So, like, when I opened up my phone and my f...
It's just going crazy, I was like, "Oh, shit," like, "What happened?" And then when it was all, like, positive stuff, I was like, "Oh, this is awesome, man." Like-
Yeah.
I mean, like I-

I was at the BMW Championship like, "Ah, man, this is..." Like, if I'm getting these notes, I'm sure Cody...
Oh
I was out of it, dog.
Like, I was fucking, you know, chilling up in Saturn just fucking-
So yeah, before we get home, so that was, uh, take my second dose on Wednesday.
Thursday, again, is a very hard day.
You're recovering, trying to figure it all out.
Friday is a little bit better.
More group therapy.
I did the, the crazy brainwave, uh, meditation thing that rocked my world, and you're just feeling, like, by that point in time, everybody in the group was feeling so much better, and more giggles and, you know, you, you're creating a true bond with them.
You also get your phone back on Friday night, which is, uh-
... just crazy for me because, like I said, I think I told you this, is that, um, I knew we, we recorded the first part of this podcast before I left.
I just had totally forgot when it was gonna be released.
So, like, when I opened up my phone and my f...
It's just going crazy, I was like, "Oh, shit," like, "What happened?" And then when it was all, like, positive stuff, I was like, "Oh, this is awesome, man." Like-
Yeah.
I mean, like I-

I was at the BMW Championship like, "Ah, man, this is..." Like, if I'm getting these notes, I'm sure Cody...
Oh
I was out of it, dog.
Like, I was fucking, you know, chilling up in Saturn just fucking-
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3 of 8
I Want To Feel Again
Cody explains what recovery finally revealed
Grandma Mary’s Kisses
Then a familiar voice brought unexpected comfort
Seeing Suicide Differently
Cody shares the perspective few people understand
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