Aug 25, 2026 · 12 min · 5 segments
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Michelle Oucharek-DeoHostI had a tumultuous relationship with screens, specifically television screens.
And of course, once streaming came in, that made things far worse for me.
The world was still upside down and my son had just been accepted into his program of industrial design in Eastern Canada, over 4,000 kilometers away from home.
And up until two weeks after he left, I saw his leaving truly as a gift of time to me.
That after 18 years, I could set aside my mom hat and focus on myself and get that next project done that had been sitting on the shelf.
What I wasn't anticipating was the oppressive and emotionally chaotic experience of not having the sound and the energy of him in the household.
And when my rhythm was thrown, I could not refocus and get the work done that I wanted to do.
And what happens when someone's rhythm is thrown off? Well, We often go back and lean into the things that we used to do that sometimes were not good for us.
And there I was, caught in a whirlwind of emotion, leaning back into watching television like it was a lifeline.
But I pressed play, and that's where the next 28 days or so of my world disappeared, sucked into one specific television program where I could push away the feelings and create secret excuses for not getting things done.
And that's when the guilt and the shame really starts to roll over you.
Because it's one thing when you intentionally binge a show for a weekend.
I had a tumultuous relationship with screens, specifically television screens.
And of course, once streaming came in, that made things far worse for me.
The world was still upside down and my son had just been accepted into his program of industrial design in Eastern Canada, over 4,000 kilometers away from home.
And up until two weeks after he left, I saw his leaving truly as a gift of time to me.
That after 18 years, I could set aside my mom hat and focus on myself and get that next project done that had been sitting on the shelf.
What I wasn't anticipating was the oppressive and emotionally chaotic experience of not having the sound and the energy of him in the household.
And when my rhythm was thrown, I could not refocus and get the work done that I wanted to do.
And what happens when someone's rhythm is thrown off? Well, We often go back and lean into the things that we used to do that sometimes were not good for us.
And there I was, caught in a whirlwind of emotion, leaning back into watching television like it was a lifeline.
But I pressed play, and that's where the next 28 days or so of my world disappeared, sucked into one specific television program where I could push away the feelings and create secret excuses for not getting things done.
And that's when the guilt and the shame really starts to roll over you.
Because it's one thing when you intentionally binge a show for a weekend.
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