Aug 20, 2026 · 55 min · 15 segments
"Trauma therapy shouldn't be traumatizing." This week's guest Vanessa Bear, MSc,'s quote sounds like it may apply to the importance of trauma-sensitive work for those who are seeking healing. Yet - it…
Vanessa BearGuestAnd I can remember during the pandemic, especially in the beginning, this feeling of, "No, no, no, I can't stop.
There's-- everyone needs..." It's, I don't-- it wasn't even the fully formed thought, but it was just like, "No, no, no, it's not possible to stop right now.
It's-- I can't, I can't because everyone-- I have to, like, take care of everyone s- somehow." It doesn't sound right to myself when I say that out loud, but that's sort of what the drive was that I felt, and I know so many therapists felt.
And then, you know, at the time, some were calling the pandemic, you know, a time of polycrises because it wasn't just the COVID-19 virus and its effects that were the problem.
It was the, the other things that were coming to people's attention that they hadn't really, a lot of people had not really been aware of.
All of that, it was just like this big weight coming down, and for me, I can remember a time much earlier in my career where I had kind of a burnout crisis.
It was, like, around 2004 or '05, so not very long into my time working with clients.
And I remember the same feeling, my, my supervisor saying, "I think you should take a couple days off." And I was like, "Oh, no, she doesn't think I can do it?" And, and I also felt like, "I can't.
I have to help." And I feel a lot of compassion for myself feeling such a burden of responsibility to help as if I was the only one who was doing anything, you know? And, and I can think about how that relates to my own attachment and trauma history, you know, and, and sort of, like, the child who felt that way, that I have to hold it all together somehow.
You know, it's my-- if I don't keep this whole, like, family together somehow...
Not that anyone else thought that that was my job, but I-- that was my reaction to the way it was and just how it's so isolating.
It takes you away from feeling connected with the earth, with yourself, with others, that you're not alone to carry a burden.
You know, that and many of us can do so much more if we realize that there are many of us, and, you know, it's like that, "I'm alone, and I have to save the world," versus, you know, "Let's all do what we can, and it makes a difference what everyone is doing." And w- the more we come together and realize we're not alone, the better we all feel, even if we're still tackling the same problem.
The problem didn't change, but it's like our relationship to it shifts when we feel less alone.

Yeah, and I feel like it can be a really lonely profession, right? In, in a sense.

We're, we're kind of the taken care of rather than this feeling of kind of togetherness often.

Yeah, and I feel like obviously you might have supervision or there might be, you know, peers, but especially for those people in private practice, it can feel really isolating.
And I can remember during the pandemic, especially in the beginning, this feeling of, "No, no, no, I can't stop.
There's-- everyone needs..." It's, I don't-- it wasn't even the fully formed thought, but it was just like, "No, no, no, it's not possible to stop right now.
It's-- I can't, I can't because everyone-- I have to, like, take care of everyone s- somehow." It doesn't sound right to myself when I say that out loud, but that's sort of what the drive was that I felt, and I know so many therapists felt.
And then, you know, at the time, some were calling the pandemic, you know, a time of polycrises because it wasn't just the COVID-19 virus and its effects that were the problem.
It was the, the other things that were coming to people's attention that they hadn't really, a lot of people had not really been aware of.
All of that, it was just like this big weight coming down, and for me, I can remember a time much earlier in my career where I had kind of a burnout crisis.
It was, like, around 2004 or '05, so not very long into my time working with clients.
And I remember the same feeling, my, my supervisor saying, "I think you should take a couple days off." And I was like, "Oh, no, she doesn't think I can do it?" And, and I also felt like, "I can't.
I have to help." And I feel a lot of compassion for myself feeling such a burden of responsibility to help as if I was the only one who was doing anything, you know? And, and I can think about how that relates to my own attachment and trauma history, you know, and, and sort of, like, the child who felt that way, that I have to hold it all together somehow.
You know, it's my-- if I don't keep this whole, like, family together somehow...
Not that anyone else thought that that was my job, but I-- that was my reaction to the way it was and just how it's so isolating.
It takes you away from feeling connected with the earth, with yourself, with others, that you're not alone to carry a burden.
You know, that and many of us can do so much more if we realize that there are many of us, and, you know, it's like that, "I'm alone, and I have to save the world," versus, you know, "Let's all do what we can, and it makes a difference what everyone is doing." And w- the more we come together and realize we're not alone, the better we all feel, even if we're still tackling the same problem.
The problem didn't change, but it's like our relationship to it shifts when we feel less alone.

Yeah, and I feel like it can be a really lonely profession, right? In, in a sense.

We're, we're kind of the taken care of rather than this feeling of kind of togetherness often.

Yeah, and I feel like obviously you might have supervision or there might be, you know, peers, but especially for those people in private practice, it can feel really isolating.
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