THE ORGASM GAP: WHO TOLD US HIS ORGASM MEANS SEX IS OVER?
Sep 22, 2026 · 23 min · 10 segments
Female pleasure, why women fake orgasms, communication, and why penetrative sex is so often treated as the “main event”
Sep 22, 2026 · 23 min · 10 segments
Female pleasure, why women fake orgasms, communication, and why penetrative sex is so often treated as the “main event”
One large US study looked at more than 52,000 adults and asked how frequently they orgasmed when sexually intimate during the previous month.
And obviously one survey doesn't describe every person or every sexual encounter on planet Earth.
And when tens of thousands of people answer a question and you see a difference that large, I think it's worth asking why.
So what's happening when a male partner enters the equation? And I think one of the first places we need to look is the script that we've inherited for what heterosexual sex is supposed to look like.
Kissing, foreplay, which by the way, I already have beef with the word foreplay because calling something foreplay basically means here's the appetizers while we wait for the real food.
Apparently the female orgasm was a deleted scene available only on the extended version.
And I'm joking, obviously, but think about how deeply ingrained that sequence actually is in your brain for a second.
Did everybody finish? Because you can't announce the restaurant is closed while somebody is literally still eating at their table.
Sometimes one person does and the other genuinely does not care about orgasming.
One large US study looked at more than 52,000 adults and asked how frequently they orgasmed when sexually intimate during the previous month.
And obviously one survey doesn't describe every person or every sexual encounter on planet Earth.
And when tens of thousands of people answer a question and you see a difference that large, I think it's worth asking why.
So what's happening when a male partner enters the equation? And I think one of the first places we need to look is the script that we've inherited for what heterosexual sex is supposed to look like.
Kissing, foreplay, which by the way, I already have beef with the word foreplay because calling something foreplay basically means here's the appetizers while we wait for the real food.
Apparently the female orgasm was a deleted scene available only on the extended version.
And I'm joking, obviously, but think about how deeply ingrained that sequence actually is in your brain for a second.
Did everybody finish? Because you can't announce the restaurant is closed while somebody is literally still eating at their table.
Sometimes one person does and the other genuinely does not care about orgasming.
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