Fr. Ron Rolheiser: What It Means to Give Your Life (and Death) Away

Fr. Ron Rolheiser maps the spiritual journey across three stages: getting your life together, giving your life away, and — the one no one prepares you for — giving your death away. Drawing on monastic wisdom and the mystics, he shows how marriage, the monotony of daily work, and even illness, aging, and death can each become a deep spiritual practice. In this conversation, we talk about how loneliness, restlessness, and helplessness can become gifts to ourselves and loved ones. At seventy-eight, and having lived with stage four cancer for twelve years, Fr. Rolheiser shares half a century of wisdom about what it means to live and die well. Fr. Ron Rolheiser is an Oblate of Mary Immaculate and the author of many books, including *The Holy Longing*, *Sacred Fire*, *Bruised and Wounded*, *Domestic Monastery*, and most recently *Insane for the Light: A Spirituality for Our Wisdom Years.* https://ronrolheiser.com/en/ **Chapters**00:00 Get your life together, give your life away, give your death away 03:56 "Vocation isn't something you choose, it chooses you" 08:33 "Nothing has seared me like that": The neighbor who died by suicide 11:54 "Celibacy is Unnatural": Sex and Connection 15:51 Solidarity with the Poor and Lonely 18:38 Social Loneliness vs. Moral Loneliness 23:30 Restlessness is a longing for God 28:35 No Finished Symphony: Why Your Spouse Can't Be Your God 36:03 Forgiving God for not rescuing you 39:38 A Redeeming God, Not a Rescuing God: "Tell the people to learn how to wait" 44:48 Pondering: Carrying Tension Without Passing It On 53:45 The Domestic Monastery 01:02:14 Martha and Mary: Action and Contemplation 01:10:21 Student, Householder, Forest-dweller, & Holy Old Beggar 01:18:44 Twelve Years with Stage Four Cancer 01:22:17 Give up the illusion of self-sufficiency 01:30:33 Your helplessness can be a gift 01:35:21 Letting go of "I don't want to be a burden" 01:40:48 Teaching keeps you real 01:42:41 Prayer as supplication and praying without asking for consolation Intro and outro music by  ⁨@BenBigelow3⁩  *A note: this episode includes discussion of suicide and of assisted dying. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.*