Mary Michele Nidiffer: Stop Asking How You Look and Start Asking How You Feel

I think that's really, really powerful, and I'm reflecting as you're sharing that on a belief that a lot of people in my community of business owners who work in the spiritual space, and we work in a sense of purpose and meaning, as your business does, and there's this view that I come across, and, uh, may be something I also subscribe to myself, that actually I haven't the energy to be bothered, and it shouldn't matter anyway because it's your energy and what, and what appears.

I mean, you know, for anybody that might be seeing this visually, I show up to all my calls without makeup.

I'm pretty down-to-earth and natural.

I love makeup, and I can do a fairly mean face when I want to, but I don't see it as a part of what I have to do every day I wake up.

When I say that-

Mm-hmm

...

I spent 20 years working in leading London advertising agencies where I had to do my makeup every single day, and I had a wardrobe of entirely black clothes because that's what women in advertising agencies wear.

It ch- says everything that you need it to say.

I'm irreverent, I'm sophisticated, and all of this.

And so now I think there's a, a pushback that I see not just with myself, but many women who are entering midlife and saying, "I just don't care anymore." And I'm just curious, like, if you come across that, and what your thoughts are when people do express that potential point of view.

Gosh, I have so much...

We could spend the entire day talking about this.

[laughs]

Like, really diving in.

But fundamentally, at a deep level, I believe that all women have style.

But I also believe that, especially here in the States, here in the US, you know, I, I can't really speak to London, and England, and the UK and how, what the t- what the climate is, but I'd love to know from you.

But what I've seen here in the States is that there is a lot of performance when it comes to style.

It's interesting, 'cause I put a lot of things out on Instagram, and I'll talk about, "Do you think style is superficial?" And a lot of women come back and say yes.

My belief is that true style is never superficial.

It's not just what you put on.

It's, and it's not just about the clothes, it's about who you become in the clothes.

This is, and it's more about your presence, about how you show up.

Yet, here in the States, I believe that it's become this perfor- performative thing, and that we feel like, ooh, we've gotta have the lashes, and we've gotta have the hair extensions, and we've gotta wear the heels, and we've gotta have the suit, and we've gotta have the look, and we've gotta look like we're wealthy, and we've, we're successful, and we've made it.

And it's a lot of people-pleasing.

I think that's really, really powerful, and I'm reflecting as you're sharing that on a belief that a lot of people in my community of business owners who work in the spiritual space, and we work in a sense of purpose and meaning, as your business does, and there's this view that I come across, and, uh, may be something I also subscribe to myself, that actually I haven't the energy to be bothered, and it shouldn't matter anyway because it's your energy and what, and what appears.

I mean, you know, for anybody that might be seeing this visually, I show up to all my calls without makeup.

I'm pretty down-to-earth and natural.

I love makeup, and I can do a fairly mean face when I want to, but I don't see it as a part of what I have to do every day I wake up.

When I say that-

Mm-hmm

...

I spent 20 years working in leading London advertising agencies where I had to do my makeup every single day, and I had a wardrobe of entirely black clothes because that's what women in advertising agencies wear.

It ch- says everything that you need it to say.

I'm irreverent, I'm sophisticated, and all of this.

And so now I think there's a, a pushback that I see not just with myself, but many women who are entering midlife and saying, "I just don't care anymore." And I'm just curious, like, if you come across that, and what your thoughts are when people do express that potential point of view.

Gosh, I have so much...

We could spend the entire day talking about this.

[laughs]

Like, really diving in.

But fundamentally, at a deep level, I believe that all women have style.

But I also believe that, especially here in the States, here in the US, you know, I, I can't really speak to London, and England, and the UK and how, what the t- what the climate is, but I'd love to know from you.

But what I've seen here in the States is that there is a lot of performance when it comes to style.

It's interesting, 'cause I put a lot of things out on Instagram, and I'll talk about, "Do you think style is superficial?" And a lot of women come back and say yes.

My belief is that true style is never superficial.

It's not just what you put on.

It's, and it's not just about the clothes, it's about who you become in the clothes.

This is, and it's more about your presence, about how you show up.

Yet, here in the States, I believe that it's become this perfor- performative thing, and that we feel like, ooh, we've gotta have the lashes, and we've gotta have the hair extensions, and we've gotta wear the heels, and we've gotta have the suit, and we've gotta have the look, and we've gotta look like we're wealthy, and we've, we're successful, and we've made it.

And it's a lot of people-pleasing.