What Fearlessness Makes Possible with John Lam

Well, I was four years old, and I was in a childcare center that offered dance lessons.

Mm.

And I decided, "Hey, I'm gonna try it out.

It's free." All, all I was always told as a child is, "If it's free, I can do it."

[laughs]

"If it's not free, we can't afford it."

Yeah.

I arrived thinking there were other boys, and I arrived and there was only me, myself, and I, and a ton of girls.

Mm-hmm.

So I told them, "You know what? This is not for me."

Mm.

"I don't wanna do it." Um, but they said, "Hey, why don't you just wait? We're gonna go on a field trip." So we went to a field trip to San Francisco, and that's when I saw San Francisco Ballet.

Mm.

I saw that there were other men and boys on stage.

Mm-hmm.

And I thought, "Huh, I think I can do this."

Mm.

And I just remembered the music really inspiring, like, this feeling that I had inside that I, at that time, didn't know what that was, and that, you know, it was like this butterfly feeling, almost as if I'm, like, being fed by something that I don't even know that I'm being fed by.

Mm.

And since then, I just, I stuck to it.

I became good at it.

I had these incredible mentors that came in my life during my time there in San Rafael.

You know, this is a small ballet school called Marin Ballet.

Mm-hmm.

That's where I first met my first teacher, uh, Svetlana, who gave me more or less the foundation of, of ballet aesthetics, of, like, what looks good, what doesn't look good, um, at a very young age.

Well, I was four years old, and I was in a childcare center that offered dance lessons.

Mm.

And I decided, "Hey, I'm gonna try it out.

It's free." All, all I was always told as a child is, "If it's free, I can do it."

[laughs]

"If it's not free, we can't afford it."

Yeah.

I arrived thinking there were other boys, and I arrived and there was only me, myself, and I, and a ton of girls.

Mm-hmm.

So I told them, "You know what? This is not for me."

Mm.

"I don't wanna do it." Um, but they said, "Hey, why don't you just wait? We're gonna go on a field trip." So we went to a field trip to San Francisco, and that's when I saw San Francisco Ballet.

Mm.

I saw that there were other men and boys on stage.

Mm-hmm.

And I thought, "Huh, I think I can do this."

Mm.

And I just remembered the music really inspiring, like, this feeling that I had inside that I, at that time, didn't know what that was, and that, you know, it was like this butterfly feeling, almost as if I'm, like, being fed by something that I don't even know that I'm being fed by.

Mm.

And since then, I just, I stuck to it.

I became good at it.

I had these incredible mentors that came in my life during my time there in San Rafael.

You know, this is a small ballet school called Marin Ballet.

Mm-hmm.

That's where I first met my first teacher, uh, Svetlana, who gave me more or less the foundation of, of ballet aesthetics, of, like, what looks good, what doesn't look good, um, at a very young age.