Aug 9, 2026 · 51 min · 11 segments
Have you ever caught yourself believing that if the right person came into your life, you wouldn't feel so lonely? Maybe you've thought that a partner, a friend, your children, or even more social…
I would dare to say, uh, will I say every client 100%? I'm gonna say pretty damn close, has this level of feeling lonely.
Now, I lived this for many, many years because I was pretty much raising myself early on, and you go into this level of survival, and while you feel lonely, you don't realize that that's the word for it.
Because at that point, and I'll tell you, and I know a lot of you listening know this, that when you're in survival mode, you don't have time to feel anything except for, "I need to survive this." And then after that, and as you're working through it, it, it does kind of teach you a little bit about what loneliness is, but it gives you a different perspective.
And I can promise you this, promise you, but you have to be consistent and you have to be willing to lock in for years, yes, plural, years, on filling these voids for yourself.
Deconditioning, that's right, new world, w-word, it's a Lori word, deconditioning yourself, not unconditioning, it's gonna be deconditioning, uh, yourself to all of the things that you thought were supposed to make you feel a certain way.
But if you thought, "Oh, nobody cares about me," but then that conclusion becomes a level of a demand.
If you are attaching this meaning to lonely, so now you've attached a meaning, so you're gonna begin feeling, "Hey, I feel disconnected." Okay, that's not abnormal.
Just go ground, you know, maybe, "Hey, you know what? Let me, let me get back connected to myself," in turn being able to connect to others.
Quickly, like I said, it becomes, "Nobody cares about me." Then that becomes the demand.
I know you know people like this in your life, you might have grown up with them, that it's everybody else's job to make somebody feel better.
But that's where loneliness switches, and that flips into the emotional dependency, resentments for sure, go back and listen to that, chasing, like chasing someone, over-giving, people-pleasing, staying in the unhealthy relationships for the sake of having somebody, and then returning to the same people who repeatedly hurt you or repeatedly made you feel something, or believing that somehow magical, this right person is gonna finally remove the emptiness that you've had for years.
While we're not an island of one, we have to be okay being an island of one for a little bit.
Uh, a lot of times I'll give people who work with me sort of this assignment of go do something alone.
I would dare to say, uh, will I say every client 100%? I'm gonna say pretty damn close, has this level of feeling lonely.
Now, I lived this for many, many years because I was pretty much raising myself early on, and you go into this level of survival, and while you feel lonely, you don't realize that that's the word for it.
Because at that point, and I'll tell you, and I know a lot of you listening know this, that when you're in survival mode, you don't have time to feel anything except for, "I need to survive this." And then after that, and as you're working through it, it, it does kind of teach you a little bit about what loneliness is, but it gives you a different perspective.
And I can promise you this, promise you, but you have to be consistent and you have to be willing to lock in for years, yes, plural, years, on filling these voids for yourself.
Deconditioning, that's right, new world, w-word, it's a Lori word, deconditioning yourself, not unconditioning, it's gonna be deconditioning, uh, yourself to all of the things that you thought were supposed to make you feel a certain way.
But if you thought, "Oh, nobody cares about me," but then that conclusion becomes a level of a demand.
If you are attaching this meaning to lonely, so now you've attached a meaning, so you're gonna begin feeling, "Hey, I feel disconnected." Okay, that's not abnormal.
Just go ground, you know, maybe, "Hey, you know what? Let me, let me get back connected to myself," in turn being able to connect to others.
Quickly, like I said, it becomes, "Nobody cares about me." Then that becomes the demand.
I know you know people like this in your life, you might have grown up with them, that it's everybody else's job to make somebody feel better.
But that's where loneliness switches, and that flips into the emotional dependency, resentments for sure, go back and listen to that, chasing, like chasing someone, over-giving, people-pleasing, staying in the unhealthy relationships for the sake of having somebody, and then returning to the same people who repeatedly hurt you or repeatedly made you feel something, or believing that somehow magical, this right person is gonna finally remove the emptiness that you've had for years.
While we're not an island of one, we have to be okay being an island of one for a little bit.
Uh, a lot of times I'll give people who work with me sort of this assignment of go do something alone.
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