Weaponized Generosity. When kindness becomes debt

So let's jump into the topic.

Now, this is something that, again, I think we're very conditioned to over a long period of time.

Now, this doesn't mean that when you're generous that you just, okay, well, it is what it is.

Now, there's so many complexities to this, but the one where it is used as a weapon has definitely been ingrained in us.

So we catch ourselves going, I did this for you.

You got to do this for me.

Tit for tat.

I did this.

You do this.

In theory, it's great if you are communicative about it and not assume.

See, that's the part.

It's perfectly fine to want or require something in return.

That is fine.

That's how we contribute to relationships.

However, where the problem is, is keeping the score for it.

or expecting that I did this, now you do this.

This is going to create so many resentments within you and it's going to have a lot of resentments towards other people from you.

So you have to be really careful of this.

But, you know, you want control or they want control without looking controlling.

And essentially, this is where the conditioning comes from.

Think about, you know, growing up.

Hey, don't be selfish.

Hey, you know, share.

Hey, do those things.

Which again, this isn't a bad thing.

So let's jump into the topic.

Now, this is something that, again, I think we're very conditioned to over a long period of time.

Now, this doesn't mean that when you're generous that you just, okay, well, it is what it is.

Now, there's so many complexities to this, but the one where it is used as a weapon has definitely been ingrained in us.

So we catch ourselves going, I did this for you.

You got to do this for me.

Tit for tat.

I did this.

You do this.

In theory, it's great if you are communicative about it and not assume.

See, that's the part.

It's perfectly fine to want or require something in return.

That is fine.

That's how we contribute to relationships.

However, where the problem is, is keeping the score for it.

or expecting that I did this, now you do this.

This is going to create so many resentments within you and it's going to have a lot of resentments towards other people from you.

So you have to be really careful of this.

But, you know, you want control or they want control without looking controlling.

And essentially, this is where the conditioning comes from.

Think about, you know, growing up.

Hey, don't be selfish.

Hey, you know, share.

Hey, do those things.

Which again, this isn't a bad thing.