Jun 3, 2026 · 25 min · 11 segments
Jenny interviews Dr Justin Coulson, one of Australia's most respected relationships speakers, authors, and researchers. Passionate about understanding what helps relationships flourish, Justin has…
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Jenny BrownHost
So the book itself, one of the most helpful things that it does is clarify the real role that parents play in raising boys.
Parenting can feel overwhelming, especially with constant concerns with boys that we hear about: toxic masculinity, exposure to porn, impact of social media, gaming, school disengagement, emotional struggles, violence, identity confusion, online influencers like Andrew Tate.
But what I appreciated in this book is that Justin doesn't stay with the panic at all.
He doesn't minimize the issues, but instead of asking, "How do I control everything around my son?" the book is asking, "What kind of man am I helping my son become? What kind of environment am I setting up to promote character in my son?" And that shift feels really grounding and practical.
Throughout the book, Justin brings parents back to what they can actually influence: character, values, what we model, the way we connect, taking responsibility, the way we do relationships.
So rather than portraying boys as broken, he argues that boys need an environment with leaders who are guides, who are role models, who are supportive, and that's what gives the book such a hopeful tone.
A key idea in his definition of healthy masculinity is this, helping boys move from being takers to contributors.
Young men who give more than they take, who act responsibly, who serve others, and they use their strength to help others feel safer and stronger.
As Justin says, "Boys believe their eyes more than their ears." A great thought for parents.
Parenting is therefore not about lecturing, about discipline alone, but about the emotional culture inside the home.
How is conflict handled? How do us parents speak to each other? How is responsibility shared in our home? And whether connection and respect are present.
Justin also highlights the importance of fathers, not as authoritarian figures, but as emotionally available, trustworthy, engaged men.
Parenting alone or carrying most of the emotional load is something that Justin empathizes with for single mothers in particular out there or post-separation and divorce.
He does reassure mothers that they cannot and they should not try to be both mother and father.
Instead, he encourages families to help boys connect with healthy male role models through community, mentors, teachers, coaches, and trusted adults.
Ultimately, this book, Boys, keeps returning to one central message, connection matters more than control.
Parents cannot control every algorithm, peer influence, or online message, but they can influence presence, conversations, boundaries that they can hold, modeling values, and that emotional environment at home.
It neither demonizes boys nor ignores the real challenges that they're facing in today's culture.
Instead, it gives parents a clearer sense of purpose in raising their sons and raising their daughters as well.And I think many families will find the whole book deeply reassuring.
So the book itself, one of the most helpful things that it does is clarify the real role that parents play in raising boys.
Parenting can feel overwhelming, especially with constant concerns with boys that we hear about: toxic masculinity, exposure to porn, impact of social media, gaming, school disengagement, emotional struggles, violence, identity confusion, online influencers like Andrew Tate.
But what I appreciated in this book is that Justin doesn't stay with the panic at all.
He doesn't minimize the issues, but instead of asking, "How do I control everything around my son?" the book is asking, "What kind of man am I helping my son become? What kind of environment am I setting up to promote character in my son?" And that shift feels really grounding and practical.
Throughout the book, Justin brings parents back to what they can actually influence: character, values, what we model, the way we connect, taking responsibility, the way we do relationships.
So rather than portraying boys as broken, he argues that boys need an environment with leaders who are guides, who are role models, who are supportive, and that's what gives the book such a hopeful tone.
A key idea in his definition of healthy masculinity is this, helping boys move from being takers to contributors.
Young men who give more than they take, who act responsibly, who serve others, and they use their strength to help others feel safer and stronger.
As Justin says, "Boys believe their eyes more than their ears." A great thought for parents.
Parenting is therefore not about lecturing, about discipline alone, but about the emotional culture inside the home.
How is conflict handled? How do us parents speak to each other? How is responsibility shared in our home? And whether connection and respect are present.
Justin also highlights the importance of fathers, not as authoritarian figures, but as emotionally available, trustworthy, engaged men.
Parenting alone or carrying most of the emotional load is something that Justin empathizes with for single mothers in particular out there or post-separation and divorce.
He does reassure mothers that they cannot and they should not try to be both mother and father.
Instead, he encourages families to help boys connect with healthy male role models through community, mentors, teachers, coaches, and trusted adults.
Ultimately, this book, Boys, keeps returning to one central message, connection matters more than control.
Parents cannot control every algorithm, peer influence, or online message, but they can influence presence, conversations, boundaries that they can hold, modeling values, and that emotional environment at home.
It neither demonizes boys nor ignores the real challenges that they're facing in today's culture.
Instead, it gives parents a clearer sense of purpose in raising their sons and raising their daughters as well.And I think many families will find the whole book deeply reassuring.
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