The Hidden Power of Speaking Your Truth

Anyway, so...

Just a little bit of background.

My parents got divorced when I was three and a half and neither of my parents were emotionally available to me for most of my childhood.

And going through a divorce at that age, you know, clearly I was so young, didn't really have language for whatever was going on.

I mean, at an adult level, for sure.

I lived with my mother and my sister until I was 10.

And then my sister and I moved in with my father and stepmother.

So there was a lot going on in my childhood at that time.

And so the fact that I was so young, I was very intense.

I was very sensitive.

I was very emotional.

I think that's just who I was.

And the fact that this divorce came upon me and, you know, now I'm like separated from parents, you know, living with my mom, but seeing my dad very infrequently, it was hard.

Even as a young child, it was hard for me to adapt to the fact that I didn't have my parents together.

to which I will always say and I've said it before and I'll say it again there's no good age for your parents to get divorced and I know people you know teenage years are hard without a divorce so on top of it it's even harder but there are people whose parents got divorced while they were in college and let me tell you it's no easier So anyway, because of the fact that my parents were not emotionally available to me, and my dad was not very demonstrative when it came to affection and attention and just, you know, connection.

It was difficult when I was young.

He was a bachelor at that point.

And He was, you know, dating and trying to find a partner.

And by the time he met my stepmother, you know, then it was all about them as a couple and all of that stuff.

But the truth is, is that...

I learned how to become an over-giver and a people-pleaser because that was the only way that I could get my dad to acknowledge me.

It was just I had to perform for him.

I had to accomplish things and do things that made him pay attention.

And so I never really felt like...

I knew that there was unconditional love underneath it all, but I questioned it throughout my life because how could it be unconditional when I'm working so hard to get his attention and his approval and all that stuff? So I learned that I had to perform.