Look Away—Or Don’t: The Moth Radio Hour

So I love my flat, except for its window.

There's nothing inherently wrong with the window.

It's even double glazed.

The problem is that it looks directly into my neighbor's shower.

[audience laughing] This is the main window in my flat.

It's the one I face when I'm sitting on my couch, when I'm eating dinner at my table.

It's impractical to keep it covered at all times.

It is unavoidable, as were they when they were showering.

[audience laughing] I've never met my neighbors in the building next door, but I feel that we're intimately acquainted.

[audience laughing] They were either very clean or very dirty.

I'm unclear which.

[audience laughing] But as far as I was concerned, at least one of them was in the shower at all times, [audience laughing] and often both of them together, [audience laughing] having enthusiastic shower sex.

[audience laughing] I considered what to do about this.

I thought, "I'm an adult.

I should be able to work out a mature solution to this problem." We all live on the top floor of our respective buildings, and it would be perfectly reasonable for them to assume they're in the privacy of their own home.

I felt like it was my civic and neighborly duty to let them know.

[audience laughing] So I decided to go about it in the most British way possible by writing them a very apologetic note.

[audience laughing] I started with, "I'm sorry," which after several years of living in this country, I think is the best way to start a conversation [audience laughing] with any British person.

[audience laughing] So I say, "Dear next door neighbors, I'm so sorry for the awkwardness of this note.

I just wanted to let you know that your shower window isn't as opaque as you might think it is.

[audience laughing] Actually, it's pretty see-through in case you wanted to get a curtain.

Wishing you well.

Kind regards.

All the best, Allie." Early the next morning, I tiptoe over to my neighbor's flat.

I've addressed the note to top floor flat because I don't know their names.