261 - Stop Meditating Alone: The Real Reason Most Men Quit - with Toby Sola

We hear a lot of perspectives on the Mankind podcast.

Inclusion of a guest is not an endorsement of their views, and the opinions expressed here do not always represent the mission or values of the Mankind Project USA.

What if sitting down alone, eyes closed, doing nothing, is actually one of the most effective ways for you to become a better partner, a better leader, a better person in the world? And what if the deeper this practice goes, the more effective you can become out here in your life? And the more effective you become out here, the deeper this practice can go.

That's the loop we're talking about today.

My guest is someone I only recently met, but he's quite literally gotten into my head.

Toby Sola has been teaching meditation for two decades.

He trained for years inside a monastery, studied closely with a renowned teacher, Shinzen Young, and eventually took everything he learned and built it into something modern men and everyone can actually use, an app called Brightmind.

We get into what it's really like to live inside a monastery, the humbling, the community, the getting your rough edges knocked off by 20 other people sitting in silence with you for hours every day.

We talk about why so many guys especially try meditation, get frustrated, and quit, and what's usually missing when that happens.

We talk about doubt into hitting the wall where space and time start to feel strange and why that's totally normal.

And we talk about the dark secret of meditation nihilism, that gut punch feeling that nothing means anything, which a lot of us run into the moment we actually sit still and get really quiet.

Toby's approach is refreshingly unmystical.

It's precise, it's structured, it's almost like an engineering approach to the inner world, which makes sense because he comes from an engineering background.

And that's exactly what makes the depth of what he's teaching land with me.

This conversation might change how you think about your own meditation practice, whether you've never sat or you've been sitting for years.

Welcome to the Mankind Podcast.

[upbeat music] Hey everybody, it's Boysen Hodgson.

Welcome back to the Mankind Podcast, the show where we break the molds of modern manhood to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is more than one way to be a man.

We hear a lot of perspectives on the Mankind podcast.

Inclusion of a guest is not an endorsement of their views, and the opinions expressed here do not always represent the mission or values of the Mankind Project USA.

What if sitting down alone, eyes closed, doing nothing, is actually one of the most effective ways for you to become a better partner, a better leader, a better person in the world? And what if the deeper this practice goes, the more effective you can become out here in your life? And the more effective you become out here, the deeper this practice can go.

That's the loop we're talking about today.

My guest is someone I only recently met, but he's quite literally gotten into my head.

Toby Sola has been teaching meditation for two decades.

He trained for years inside a monastery, studied closely with a renowned teacher, Shinzen Young, and eventually took everything he learned and built it into something modern men and everyone can actually use, an app called Brightmind.

We get into what it's really like to live inside a monastery, the humbling, the community, the getting your rough edges knocked off by 20 other people sitting in silence with you for hours every day.

We talk about why so many guys especially try meditation, get frustrated, and quit, and what's usually missing when that happens.

We talk about doubt into hitting the wall where space and time start to feel strange and why that's totally normal.

And we talk about the dark secret of meditation nihilism, that gut punch feeling that nothing means anything, which a lot of us run into the moment we actually sit still and get really quiet.

Toby's approach is refreshingly unmystical.

It's precise, it's structured, it's almost like an engineering approach to the inner world, which makes sense because he comes from an engineering background.

And that's exactly what makes the depth of what he's teaching land with me.

This conversation might change how you think about your own meditation practice, whether you've never sat or you've been sitting for years.

Welcome to the Mankind Podcast.

[upbeat music] Hey everybody, it's Boysen Hodgson.

Welcome back to the Mankind Podcast, the show where we break the molds of modern manhood to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is more than one way to be a man.