Ghosting, dental dams, and sharing myself with you

I'm sorry this is happening.

And it's hard to know exactly why it's happening.

I think one of the things that we can walk away with is that it's not personal.

It feels personal, but it's not personal.

We don't know why people are on dating apps.

I don't think this is specific to field.

I think you're going to find this to be a problem with all dating apps.

I'm going to try to speak personally here.

My experience.

Okay, I've never done what you're experiencing.

I've never disconnected with somebody after making a date.

Like, I wouldn't do that.

I would just cancel the date and tell them why.

And then, you know, that's the end of that.

But...

My experience is that I have to be pretty excited about someone to go out with them.

And sometimes I'm feeling a little down about myself.

And so I'm swiping and I'm matching and I'm chatting as a way to get some validation, as a way to get a bit of a boost for my self-esteem.

And there's a bit of a like a dating escalator that happens, right? Like the process is you swipe, you match, you chat, then eventually you go on a date or you disconnect.

And sometimes you don't really want to go on a date, but you kind of feel like you that's the next obvious move.

And so maybe some of these guys are just doing what they think is they should be doing, which is asking you out on a date.

And then they become too cowardly to cancel.

And so they disconnect.

It's like the worst thing you could do, really.

Just first of all, if you're not pumped about going on a date, don't go on a date.