The Weight Of "SHOULD": Releasing the pressure to be who you think you're supposed to be

The word should is often less about motivation and more about learned safety.

through perfection, productivity, or meeting expectations, most likely not even set by ourselves.

So I'm gonna encourage you to notice how the word should shows up in your life, how the word should shows up in your body, and see if we can gently shift you from shoulding yourself to death and moving you towards choice.

Before we even begin, I want you to place a hand on your heart.

Take a deep breath in, And release.

I want you to think of one sentence you've been telling yourself lately.

I should...

And don't finish it just yet.

Just notice what happens in your body when you start the sentence, I should.

Anything that comes up here, maybe your jaw clenches, maybe your posture drops, maybe your breathing becomes shallow.

Your body is telling a story before your mind even has time to catch up.

Now grab the piece of paper and write down one should you've been telling yourself recently, and then put it aside.

We'll get back to this later.

Now I want you to answer in your head how many times a day you say the word should.

Is it five? Is it 20? Is it 100? Imagine for a moment if you said those same things to a friend.

How often do you think they would hang out with you if you used the same you shoulds all over them the same way you do yourself? I'm not saying any of this to shame you.

I say it to awaken some self-compassion in you.

I should have done more.

I should be farther along in this project.

I should call my mom more.

I should go to the gym.

I should meditate.

I should know better.

I should be a better friend.

I should avoid sugar.