When the Walls Come Down
Sep 17, 2026 · 58 min · 16 segments
David grew up in Scotland and spent the past 30 years of his life in the United States, building a life that, from the outside, looked successful. He had a family, a corporate career, and all the…
David grew up in Scotland and spent the past 30 years of his life in the United States, building a life that, from the outside, looked successful. He had a family, a corporate career, and all the structures he believed would keep life steady and manageable. But underneath it all, something was disappearing. He was feeling flat. Numb. Disconnected from joy. Anxiety and depression had begun to take hold, while his need for control was becoming increasingly consuming. The more David tried to control his life, the smaller his life became. His children began to notice the change, and his marriage was approaching the brink of divorce. In this episode, David shares his deeply personal experience at Eleusinia psychedelic retreat—and a journey that did not unfold the way he expected. His macro-dose experiences were challenging, at times profoundly so. But looking back, David began to understand that the difficulty itself was part of what he needed. Rather than giving him an escape from his life, the experience confronted him with the places where he had become disconnected from it. David speaks candidly about what it feels like to be emotionally shut down, to live behind layers of control, and to realize that the very strategies once used to protect yourself can eventually prevent you from fully living. And then he tells us what happened when he returned home. What does it feel like to become emotionally available again—to your children, to your partner, to yourself, and to the ordinary experiences that make up a life? David describes coming home feeling almost reborn: more open, more present, and more willing to participate in the messy, beautiful business of being alive. This is a story about control and surrender, numbness and feeling, and the possibility of finding your way back to yourself.
David grew up in Scotland and spent the past 30 years of his life in the United States, building a life that, from the outside, looked successful. He had a family, a corporate career, and all the…
- Show signals
- Audience≈4k followers