Forgiveness ~ Dr. Ramani

But the big takeaway is when you forgive people who keep harming you, lying to you, betraying you, cheating on you, whatever the hell they're doing, they're experiencing it as sort of a get out of jail free card.

And on top of that, they feel entitled to it, right? They feel like, yeah, I mean, I shouldn't have consequences.

So it's sort of consistent with who they are, but they might even be testing the waters.

My guess is maybe they got called out on this behavior by someone else and maybe you call them out, but they digest the forgiveness.

And say, cool.

Instead of it being what any of us would think like, oh my gosh, thank goodness they forgave me.

I will never, ever, ever do this again.

They're viewing it as it's a free pass.

It's an eraser.

I can take it across the board.

That's a horrifying feeling.

So when you sort through all the research that says forgiveness is good, forgiveness is good, forgiveness is good.

There are about five studies that said not so good.

Not so good to keep forgiving somebody who keeps harming you.

Not so good to keep forgiving someone who keeps breaking your trust.

It's not good for your well-being.

It's not good for your mental health, right? It messes you up to forgive them.

It's working out just fine for them.

But then there's a second layer to this.

And this to me is the most messed up part of this.

Really, really messed up.

You might read a book like mine, watch my videos.

I think there's a handful of us that actually say these things and say, it's not cool.

Not everyone does.

But, and I know I'm kind of, I'm out here and more than a few people have said, you're a monstrous because you won't forgive.