Jul 7, 2026 · 1 hr 7 min · 10 segments
Ever notice how one offhand comment from a boss or an unexpected full stop in a message from a friend can spiral into hours of replaying? That reaction has a name: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, an…
Have you watched RuPaul's Drag Race? Can you give us a bit of context? I'll explain it in a second.
So the thing is...
I have been working in HR and recruiting and as a trainer since 2012, right? And one of the key things of A, being an adult and B, being a professional in the company and C, then also being in HR is being able to deal with performance reviews and feedback and everything or being told something went wrong or being asked to change whatever you're doing to some way that works better potentially and for me like for many other people that always has felt horrible like there was always this massive disconnect between I know that feedback is important I know that feedback is what makes us grow and I know how proper feedback works.
I am giving feedback workshops in companies and in my team.
I am the one who structures performance review processes.
Yet, whenever I receive feedback, I start sweating profusely, profoundly.
I turn red like a tomato.
My heart is racing.
It feels like there's a pit in my stomach.
And...
I would easily burst into tears every time somebody gives me feedback.
Negative feedback, that is.
Because negative feedback always feels like the end of the world for me because it feels like I let them down like that personally.
Even if they don't say, Louisa, you're such an idiot.
How dare you ever step in front of me again? They mostly don't say that.
They say things like, well, this didn't work out that time.
So I would suggest that you do ABC differently and then next time it works better.
But to me, I just like hear, oh my God, you never want to see me again.
I'm the worst person in the world and I'm so dumb.
I feel exactly the same.
Like, yeah, I know.
I think, sorry to interrupt you, but anybody that knows me is that it's been very, very similar for me.
And I think...
It's a lot of reasons about, you know, you care so much about your work, especially the work we do is so closely tied to your identity, isn't it? But yeah, what it knows me is that it's been a tricky, rocky ride with feedback and exactly the same as you.
I recognize the value of it.
Have you watched RuPaul's Drag Race? Can you give us a bit of context? I'll explain it in a second.
So the thing is...
I have been working in HR and recruiting and as a trainer since 2012, right? And one of the key things of A, being an adult and B, being a professional in the company and C, then also being in HR is being able to deal with performance reviews and feedback and everything or being told something went wrong or being asked to change whatever you're doing to some way that works better potentially and for me like for many other people that always has felt horrible like there was always this massive disconnect between I know that feedback is important I know that feedback is what makes us grow and I know how proper feedback works.
I am giving feedback workshops in companies and in my team.
I am the one who structures performance review processes.
Yet, whenever I receive feedback, I start sweating profusely, profoundly.
I turn red like a tomato.
My heart is racing.
It feels like there's a pit in my stomach.
And...
I would easily burst into tears every time somebody gives me feedback.
Negative feedback, that is.
Because negative feedback always feels like the end of the world for me because it feels like I let them down like that personally.
Even if they don't say, Louisa, you're such an idiot.
How dare you ever step in front of me again? They mostly don't say that.
They say things like, well, this didn't work out that time.
So I would suggest that you do ABC differently and then next time it works better.
But to me, I just like hear, oh my God, you never want to see me again.
I'm the worst person in the world and I'm so dumb.
I feel exactly the same.
Like, yeah, I know.
I think, sorry to interrupt you, but anybody that knows me is that it's been very, very similar for me.
And I think...
It's a lot of reasons about, you know, you care so much about your work, especially the work we do is so closely tied to your identity, isn't it? But yeah, what it knows me is that it's been a tricky, rocky ride with feedback and exactly the same as you.
I recognize the value of it.
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