Sep 10, 2026 · 28 min · 10 segments
People pleasing carries a manipulative side that often goes unrecognized, even when the intent behind it is never to cause harm. At its core, people pleasing is a coping mechanism used to manage the…
Lorin KrennHost
why is people pleasing manipulative this is the most important thing to understand before we even begin because otherwise many of you will feel ashamed will feel like well i'm being on purpose manipulative not at all there is a big difference between people pleasing as a coping mechanism and deliberately manipulating other people in relationships however the impact of people-pleasing can have a somewhat similar effect as manipulation can have.
Here we need to understand, and this is one of the most important lessons we all need to understand, in relationships especially, intent and impact is not the same thing.
I can intend to do something nice and still hurt my partner in the process, hurt my wife's feelings.
My intent could have been pure, but the impact of my action or whatever I may have done could have caused real emotional pain for her.
And we've all most likely had an experience where we said, well, it wasn't my intention.
This is the dark side and the manipulative side of people pleasing, even though the intent, usually in most cases, is not to manipulate the other person.
What is the exact impact of people pleasing? And this episode is not just for those struggling with people pleasing, but also for those who are on the receiving end, who are with a partner or know someone in any relationship dynamic who struggles with people pleasing.
why is people pleasing manipulative this is the most important thing to understand before we even begin because otherwise many of you will feel ashamed will feel like well i'm being on purpose manipulative not at all there is a big difference between people pleasing as a coping mechanism and deliberately manipulating other people in relationships however the impact of people-pleasing can have a somewhat similar effect as manipulation can have.
Here we need to understand, and this is one of the most important lessons we all need to understand, in relationships especially, intent and impact is not the same thing.
I can intend to do something nice and still hurt my partner in the process, hurt my wife's feelings.
My intent could have been pure, but the impact of my action or whatever I may have done could have caused real emotional pain for her.
And we've all most likely had an experience where we said, well, it wasn't my intention.
This is the dark side and the manipulative side of people pleasing, even though the intent, usually in most cases, is not to manipulate the other person.
What is the exact impact of people pleasing? And this episode is not just for those struggling with people pleasing, but also for those who are on the receiving end, who are with a partner or know someone in any relationship dynamic who struggles with people pleasing.
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