When Perfectionism Takes the Joy Out of the Things You Love

So to kind of summarize his question, he's been doing really hard work on his complex trauma recovery for a lot of years, and he's seen a lot of progress in relationships and his relationship with himself.

Really big stuff.

Except there's one place where this kind of debilitating level of perfectionism still shows up, and that's in his creative work.

It's particularly painting.

Kind of like every moment, every time he picks up a brush, his whole body changes.

Something kind of tenses up.

He starts debating whether the whole thing is even worth doing, kind of weighing it like a decision rather than a hobby, pulling him out of the joy of having a hobby.

He obsesses over whether it's good enough before there's anything really on the page to even judge.

And then somewhere along the way, it's kind of like his entire creative life has been narrowed down to a handful of things that he already knows that he's good at.

It's kind of like trying something new, trying something that he might be bad at.

It starts to feel like too much of a risk to take, and this is where the perfectionism comes in, this deep level of debilitating perfectionism that stops the, the joy of a creative hobby right in its tracks.

And I think a lot of people experience this in their everyday life.

And so what I'm gonna try to do today is to answer this question: Why is this happening? How come I've come so far in all these other aspects of my life when it comes to my recovery from complex trauma and perfectionism, but it's still showing up in this place? You know, you can absolutely heal in one part of your life and still be really stuck in other parts.

It kind of sucks, right? We, we hope a lot of times, I think, for this generalization effect to happen, where we're doing work in our relationships, with our relationship with ourself, and it slowly starts to expand out into other things, especially into the things that bring you joy, that bring fun to your life and pleasure and all of those things.

But perfectionism is something that runs so deep for so many people, especially people with developmental trauma, with complex trauma.

So today I'm gonna try to speak to this, this question about, like, why is perfectionism kind of clobbering my hobby, and also give some insight into perfectionism as a whole.

Because like always, I want to answer the questions that come in, but I also want you all, if you're not struggling with this particular issue, to walk away with some ideas and some insight into maybe how perfectionism is showing up in your life.

So when I use the word painting today, I want you to just kind of, like, use that as how perfectionism is showing up for you.

In the context of today's episode, it's going to be about this creative hobby.

But I'll invite you to try to apply it to yourself in ways that really kind of, like, feel right for you.