You're Running Two Jobs. Only One Pays You.

Two people can hold the exact same title. Only one of them is quietly doing a second job no one put on the org chart. You plan the birthday. You read the room before the meeting starts. You carry what someone told you in confidence and can't put back down. None of that is in your job description yet, for women who lead, all of it is expected. In this episode, I tell you about a management meeting where I was one of six women left at that table following a call to exit for some of the attendees. It's the first time I remember asking myself what I was saying yes to, just by staying in my seat. This episode explores the emotional labour boundary, the line between the care you choose to give your team and the unpaid, unassigned work you've absorbed simply because you got there first. I also bring in my client Sarah, who spent the two hours after a coworker's birthday party quietly rewriting that coworker's failed client proposal instead of giving her the feedback she needed, because it felt cruel to correct someone on the day her team had just celebrated her. The research backs up what both of us lived. Gallup's newest workplace data shows women in leadership reporting burnout at nearly double the rate of men, and the gap barely moves whether or not they have kids. Whatever's driving it is older than daycare pickups. **In this episode:** - The moment I first saw the second job I'd been running without ever signing up for it - What Gallup's newest data says about the burnout gap between women and men in leadership, and why it isn't about parenting - Sarah's story, and the birthday party that cost her two hours of unpaid rewriting - The one question I now ask myself before I pick up work that was never mine to carry - A simple test for knowing whether you've set a boundary, or just stopped caring out loud **This week's permission:** You are allowed to care about your team without being their emotional processor. You are allowed to notice someone's struggling without owning the job of fixing how they feel. You are allowed to put the cake down. And if you'd like to be on the waitlist for the upcoming micro training, **"The First Boundary: The One That Changes Everything,"** here's the link: https://debbielawrence.ca/waitlist-boundary-course