Autistic Girls, Puberty & Sexuality: What Parents Need to Know

Where should we start?

When I'm usually talking about autism, I like to talk about the general guidelines of talking to autistic teens, things we wanna keep in mind.

We know that people who are on the spectrum, again, it's a spectrum, so there's a lot of variety.

No two people are the same, and there are certain characteristics and things that are preferences or things that they do benefit from.

So when we're thinking about the basic guidelines when discussing topics with autistic teens, I break it down into ENT, explain, normalize, teach.

So when you explain something, you wanna be clear, direct, and concrete.

That means avoiding language that's sarcastic, things that seem hinting, 'cause that's really challenging for many autistic teens, and they take information very literally.

So instead of saying something like, "Make good choices," you wanna say exactly what the expectation is so it can be understood.

Then when we talk about normalizing, we wanna also reduce shame and open up discussion.

This is so important for teens.

You wanna talk about bodies, about emotions, sexuality in a very matter-of-fact and calm way 'cause this normalizes and helps them regulate that this is a topic that's okay to talk about with my parent or my caregiver.

And understand that autistic teens are probably gonna need repetition, as most people do, and they'll probably ask very direct questions.

It's not coming from a place of defiance.

It's really just them helping themselves process and understand information.

And then the last thing is teach.

So when we teach, we wanna, again, be very explicit.

We don't want to assume social understanding.

Many social rules that non-autistic teens Quote, unquote, "pick up on implicitly" need to really be directly taught to autistic teens.

So explaining things like public versus private behaviors, consent, boundaries, relationship expectations, safety rules, and if a confusing situation presents itself, what to do and what's safe.

Oh, I love that.

So we've got explain, normalize, teach, E-N-T. That's such a beautiful way to remember it.

You know, I think for many of us, we often jump over explanations because they make, they make sense to us.

Those of us who are more neurotypical, so we'd be like, "Oh, yes, that's just what it is." But I love that.

So we actually have to slow down and break into blocks and, as always, not assume.

Exactly.