Jul 1, 2026 · 38 min · 16 segments
Content Note: This episode includes discussion of infant loss, grief, and NICU trauma. Some stories change us forever. In this deeply moving episode of The Child Psych Podcast, we sit down with…
Mahaley PatelGuest
Emily SouderGuestTanya JohnsonHostEmily, can you tell us all a little bit about your work and what really drew you to helping families process these really difficult birth and early parenting experiences?
After I became a mother, it became really apparent that there were certain aspects of adjusting to the parenting journey that just weren't being supported enough, and so I became really passionate about helping those birthing parents specifically, that's where I started, with feeling held and seen and supported as they navigated things like anxiety and depression.
And then sort of a natural jump from there for me when I had my daughter, I just had this idea of like, "Why is there not a place to reflect on what it's like for the birthing person to go through the birth process?" I mean, there's like a baby book for you to write down these things about like little milestones maybe in your pregnancy or the birth to an extent or after baby showers, but what about like the other really deep stuff that we experience and go through? And I always-- I'm really sentimental, I think, about the very human things we go through and the depth that those can get to emotionally, spiritually, all of those things.
And so I just thought, "Why not create a place to slow down with that?" And That was for really all birth experiences, but then, of course, with my own clients and training other perinatal mental health therapists to, to see the upsetting ones, I mean, those are absolutely included as well.
The ones that don't feel straightforward, which are so many of our birth stories, right? That feel either traumatic or different from what we expected, and those can all benefit from space to be processed because the stories that we tell ourselves around these really change how we see ourselves, how we see our start to parenting, our relationship to becoming a mother or parent, and, and kind of carry forward.
And so I thought it was really important that we create space to look at those.
And I had started to barely kind of like dip my toe into some of the NICU stuff, and so it was really serendipitous that Mahali reached out to me to, to deepen that.
I love the whole idea of just holding space for so many families out there, and I think that that space...
Really when I look at what's out there, there's, there's not much that really helps families guide and, and really process this experience.
For those listeners who don't yet know your story, would you be willing to share just a little bit about your daughter and what eventually led to this book?
I would say at that time I was working with a lot of clients who had navigated birth trauma.
Emily, can you tell us all a little bit about your work and what really drew you to helping families process these really difficult birth and early parenting experiences?
After I became a mother, it became really apparent that there were certain aspects of adjusting to the parenting journey that just weren't being supported enough, and so I became really passionate about helping those birthing parents specifically, that's where I started, with feeling held and seen and supported as they navigated things like anxiety and depression.
And then sort of a natural jump from there for me when I had my daughter, I just had this idea of like, "Why is there not a place to reflect on what it's like for the birthing person to go through the birth process?" I mean, there's like a baby book for you to write down these things about like little milestones maybe in your pregnancy or the birth to an extent or after baby showers, but what about like the other really deep stuff that we experience and go through? And I always-- I'm really sentimental, I think, about the very human things we go through and the depth that those can get to emotionally, spiritually, all of those things.
And so I just thought, "Why not create a place to slow down with that?" And That was for really all birth experiences, but then, of course, with my own clients and training other perinatal mental health therapists to, to see the upsetting ones, I mean, those are absolutely included as well.
The ones that don't feel straightforward, which are so many of our birth stories, right? That feel either traumatic or different from what we expected, and those can all benefit from space to be processed because the stories that we tell ourselves around these really change how we see ourselves, how we see our start to parenting, our relationship to becoming a mother or parent, and, and kind of carry forward.
And so I thought it was really important that we create space to look at those.
And I had started to barely kind of like dip my toe into some of the NICU stuff, and so it was really serendipitous that Mahali reached out to me to, to deepen that.
I love the whole idea of just holding space for so many families out there, and I think that that space...
Really when I look at what's out there, there's, there's not much that really helps families guide and, and really process this experience.
For those listeners who don't yet know your story, would you be willing to share just a little bit about your daughter and what eventually led to this book?
I would say at that time I was working with a lot of clients who had navigated birth trauma.
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3 of 6
Sachi's Five-Day Fight
Mahaley recalls her daughter Sachi's brief life
I Wish I'd Stayed
She reflects on missed moments with Sachi
Facing Discomfort of Grief
Emily explains cultural discomfort surrounding profound grief
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