You Can't Always Be the Hero

The title of this episode is You Can't Always Be the Hero.

And what I want to talk about today is how we can want to help someone like we would do anything to help them get out of their situation or get past hard feelings or overcome something.

But if they aren't willing to do anything to help themselves, there's really nothing that we can do.

I mean, of course we can be there for them, be a sounding board, be a listening ear, and we can give advice, but we also have to be careful that we are protecting our own energy when we're doing this because you don't want to end up trying to help someone and just completely wasting your time and energy because they are not going to listen.

A person has to be ready to change for them to change.

You can't do or say anything that will make them take action.

And when you spend your time trying to help someone that really doesn't want help, it can get exhausting.

So again, you have to be careful how much time and energy you put into helping people that aren't ready to have help or even listen to anything you have to say.

And I mentioned you could be a listening ear or a sounding board.

Sometimes that's all someone needs in the moment.

However, it can take a big toll on you.

When all you're doing is listening to someone else's problems, the same thing all the time over and over again, and they never do anything about it, it gets old.

And yeah, you feel for them.

You care about these people.

But it's like, okay, you've had the same issue for months, maybe years, and you're not doing anything about it.

So why are you still talking about it? Remember that people choose what they have in their life.

For the most part, I'm speaking in more general terms here.

We're not going to pick that apart right now.

But in most cases, people choose what is allowed in their life.

And I say in most cases because sometimes it's not safe to leave or it's not financially feasible or whatever else.

But this is high level today.

So if someone is having the same issue over and over and over again for months on end, They are choosing that thing versus choosing to do something about it.

For whatever reason, they're clearly not ready to do anything about it.

That does not mean you have to succumb to the issue just because they're not ready to change or fix it.

A therapist could, but they get paid big money to deal with that.