The CALM Parent - with Katie McKenna
Sep 10, 2026 · 22 min · 11 segments
You've asked your kid to so something three times now. Your voice is getting louder. What happens next tells you everything. In episode three, Katie breaks down the four F's — and shows you…
Katie McKennaHost
So today's episode, what I hope at the end of this is that you will be able to identify which of the four F's you parent from.
So in the last two episodes, you know, we talked about finding out your number.
And then in the last episode, I talked about your relational dynamic, how we are in one relationship is how we are in all.
So how you are with conflict, for example, and how that can we can take that into our own relationship with our kids.
And I talked about the difference when we feel fear that we're out of our rational brain and the difference then when we're regulated.
And I hope that this conversation begins to separate out and to be able to shift some of that guilt and shame when you operate and behave in ways that you don't recognize and that you later regret.
But a lot of people, when they have grown up with a parent that never takes any accountability, never apologizes, they really struggle then with giving themselves a break, cutting themselves slack, forgiving themselves in any way for making a mistake because they don't want to be any way like their narcissistic parent.
So they continue to beat themselves up for the thing that they did instead of offering themselves any sort of compassion or empathy.
You are responsible for your behavior and you are responsible for how you behave when you are in fight or flight.
And if you're listening to this podcast, what I imagine is, is that you want to behave in different ways.
So today's episode, what I hope at the end of this is that you will be able to identify which of the four F's you parent from.
So in the last two episodes, you know, we talked about finding out your number.
And then in the last episode, I talked about your relational dynamic, how we are in one relationship is how we are in all.
So how you are with conflict, for example, and how that can we can take that into our own relationship with our kids.
And I talked about the difference when we feel fear that we're out of our rational brain and the difference then when we're regulated.
And I hope that this conversation begins to separate out and to be able to shift some of that guilt and shame when you operate and behave in ways that you don't recognize and that you later regret.
But a lot of people, when they have grown up with a parent that never takes any accountability, never apologizes, they really struggle then with giving themselves a break, cutting themselves slack, forgiving themselves in any way for making a mistake because they don't want to be any way like their narcissistic parent.
So they continue to beat themselves up for the thing that they did instead of offering themselves any sort of compassion or empathy.
You are responsible for your behavior and you are responsible for how you behave when you are in fight or flight.
And if you're listening to this podcast, what I imagine is, is that you want to behave in different ways.
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