Ep. 264: When Care Isn’t Trauma-Informed: Infertility, Sexual Trauma, and Obstetric Violence feat. Liz

In this episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Liz Gray, a fellow perinatal therapist, to hear her deeply personal story of infertility, birth, sexual trauma, and obstetric violence. Liz shares how her history of sexual trauma shaped her experience with fertility treatment and birth, and how moments of dismissal, lack of empathy, and feeling unseen ultimately contributed to her trauma. Liz’s story is also one of advocacy and turning pain into purpose. After struggling to find trauma-informed support during infertility and birth, she helped create the Trauma-Informed Maternal Health Directory, a nationwide resource designed to connect women and birthing people with providers who understand trauma-informed care. This powerful conversation is a reminder that birth trauma isn’t always about what happens medically, it can also come from what is missing: empathy, autonomy, communication, and being treated like a human being. ✨ **In this episode, Liz shares:** - 💔 Her experience as a survivor of sexual trauma and how trauma anniversaries can continue to affect life years later - 🧬 Navigating infertility and fertility treatments as a survivor of sexual trauma - 🩺 The lack of trauma-informed resources available to people experiencing infertility after sexual trauma - 🚩 How a dismissive comment from a fertility doctor became a turning point in Liz’s journey - 🗣️ Why asking providers how they practice trauma-informed care can be so important - 🌱 Finding a new fertility provider who made Liz feel seen, heard, and respected - 🤰 Her journey through IVF and pregnancy after infertility - 🏡 Planning for a birth center birth and how an unexpected hospital transfer changed everything - 🚑 The emotional impact of an unexpected transfer from a peaceful birth center environment into a busy hospital - 🧠 How her history of sexual trauma affected her need for autonomy, choice, and control during labor - ⚠️ Experiencing dismissive and insensitive treatment from hospital staff during labor - 📝 Why birth plans can be an important tool for communicating a survivor’s needs—and why they only help if providers actually read them - 💉 Making the decision to get an epidural after 44 hours of unmedicated labor—and why it was important that the decision remained hers - 🏥 Experiencing a C-section after her baby’s heart rate dropped - 💭 Discovering the term **obstetric violence** and having an “aha” moment that helped her understand what she had experienced - ❤️ Why birth trauma can come not only from what is done to someone, but also from what is missing—empathy, support, communication, and compassionate care - 🌿 What healing has looked like for Liz, including therapy, medication, writing, and advocacy - 🌎 The creation of the **Trauma Informed Maternal Health Directory**, a nationwide resource connecting women and birthing people with trauma-informed providers - 🔥 Turning pain into purpose and using her experience to advocate for better care for others 📍 **Find Liz & the Trauma Informed Maternal Health Directory:** maternaltraumasupport.com 📱 **Instagram:** @MaternalTraumaSupport 📱 **Liz’s infertility advocacy Instagram:** @infertilityadvocacy For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma\_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.