Ep 16: Grief Alters Your Identity, and Your Friendships | Donielle Young

How to be a friend, to yourself and others, when you don't even know who you are anymore. Because grief permanently altered your identity. As Donielle shares it can be really hard to recognized who your friends are anymore.  "Didn't I lose enough? My husband died, and now my so-called friends are judging the way I grieve?"  On today’s episode of the Best Friend Project Podcast, we meet Donielle Young, who lost her husband Dwayne to stage four colon cancer at 47, leaving her with a teenage son at home and very little emotional support. In her struggle, she found a space to rebuild herself as The Grief Disruptor, creating The G3 framework (grief, grit, glow up) around the part nobody wants to talk about, how to get to know the new you, when death has changed you. Old you could show up to brunch and be present. New you looks the same on the outside, but you can't sit there and hear normal conversations about husbands traveling or not helping with the dishes after your husband has died.  Donielle knew some of her friends were judging her, she didn't realize all of them were. She talks candidly about about the day when one of her closest friends admitted she had judged the way Donielle grieved.  And she names what friends get wrong most, talks about the importance of week three. The casseroles stop but the grief doesn't. In This Episode  - Being judged for how you grieve - Losing your identity and creating a new one - Auditing your people - How friends can fumble supporting each other Connect with Donielle Young on Instagram,  Facebook, TikTok, and LinkedIn  To learn more, visit The Best Friend Project.co . While you're there, discover your Friendship Archetype by taking the  Friendship Survey We'd also love to stay in touch—come say hello on Instagram  and Facebook (we will follow you back!)  If you need to reach us, you can always email us at Hello@TheBFProject.com. Chapters: 00:00 Cold open 00:52 Welcome to The Best Friend Project 02:05 Meet Donielle Young, The Grief Disruptor 02:20 Who Dwayne was 03:00 A stage four diagnosis in 2020 04:10 How Rachel and Donielle found each other 05:00 Losing your identity, not just your person 07:50 The friend who admitted she judged her 10:00 "It's none of my business who's judging me" 12:40 Why G3 is a framework and not a blueprint 16:40 Were her friends surprised? 19:50 What Dwayne would say to her today 21:20 What to say to a grieving friend 23:20 Show up later, because grief isn't the flu 26:00 Rachel's confession about the text she didn't send 30:40 The relative who disappeared 34:20 Auditing your people, explained 36:00 VIP or general admission 41:20 Historical friends and what the survey found 45:40 Colon cancer, screening, and why women have to lead 53:40 The friends who showed up: Tina, Ruth, and Kenya 55:40 Her son, and what he told the counselor 57:00 Rachel's closing reflection #GriefAndFriendship #YoungWidowhood #IdentityAfterLoss #HowToSupportAGrievingFriend #AuditYourFriendship #Grief #Friendship #WidowLife #GriefSupport #WomensPodcast #thebestfriendproject #FemaleFriendship #WomensFriendship #GriefPodcast #FriendshipPodcast #IdentityAfterLoss #ColonCancerAwareness #GetScreened Support the show