263: How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Setting Healthy Boundaries with Tonya Lester
Sep 15, 2026 · 45 min · 10 segments
- Speakers
Tonya LesterGuestLaura FroyanHost
Sep 15, 2026 · 45 min · 10 segments
Tonya LesterGuestLaura FroyanHostSo I'm thinking that there are some listeners right now who are like thinking like, okay, I know exactly the boundary I need to set.
And I don't even know like what it is that needs to, what boundaries might need to be set.
So I'm kind of curious if you can give me a high level, almost like how to do a little self-assessment for the, that the listener could do on themselves, just like running a check on what, what areas they maybe need to do a little bit more assertion, a little bit more of the pushing back.
Do you have a kind of an easy way for folks to do that a little bit of a self-assessment?
There is a very concrete assessment in the book, but I would say for listeners right now, there's two areas that I think we can think about that can really help us create like a map, a lay of the land of where we maybe could see more.
And so certainly in parenting, and if we have other people involved in parenting, helping our village, helping with our children, You know, it might be like, you know, we like adventure.
So, you know, we don't pull our five-year-old off of the rock structure he's clamoring up.
Like, and can we set this expectation? Conversely, someone else is like, nope, absolutely not.
Safety is the thing, you know? And so then we can talk about what are our values and are we communicating our values clearly? And are there relationships in which we are not able to live our values? We feel out of alignment and what's going on there and what would need to happen to get those relationships back in alignment.
It's like, what is sitting? What just does not sit right with me? Or is there a relationship or a type of interaction that I dread?
So I'm thinking that there are some listeners right now who are like thinking like, okay, I know exactly the boundary I need to set.
And I don't even know like what it is that needs to, what boundaries might need to be set.
So I'm kind of curious if you can give me a high level, almost like how to do a little self-assessment for the, that the listener could do on themselves, just like running a check on what, what areas they maybe need to do a little bit more assertion, a little bit more of the pushing back.
Do you have a kind of an easy way for folks to do that a little bit of a self-assessment?
There is a very concrete assessment in the book, but I would say for listeners right now, there's two areas that I think we can think about that can really help us create like a map, a lay of the land of where we maybe could see more.
And so certainly in parenting, and if we have other people involved in parenting, helping our village, helping with our children, You know, it might be like, you know, we like adventure.
So, you know, we don't pull our five-year-old off of the rock structure he's clamoring up.
Like, and can we set this expectation? Conversely, someone else is like, nope, absolutely not.
Safety is the thing, you know? And so then we can talk about what are our values and are we communicating our values clearly? And are there relationships in which we are not able to live our values? We feel out of alignment and what's going on there and what would need to happen to get those relationships back in alignment.
It's like, what is sitting? What just does not sit right with me? Or is there a relationship or a type of interaction that I dread?
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