93. Stop Negotiating with Yourself

Hey, podcast listeners.

I am excited to share with you this episode, because it's something that I have been noticing in myself, with other people, and even as I look in my professional career, those moments where I was negotiating with myself.

And so I'm just gonna give you some examples from my own situation and the clients that I am coaching at this moment.

But what I've noticed is that oftentimes we, as women, are thinking about other people's emotions, we're thinking about our own emotions, and we are thinking about the outcome that we want, and it has us kind of in this way overthinking again and holding back on what we really want and actually negotiating with our own truth.

So let me share with you that, you know, I was noticing the struggle.

There's a client that I have, she's hurting, she's exhausted, she's really tired, and she is on a coaching cadence that I professionally don't believe is serving her.

She wanted to be able to have flexibility with coaching, and I was open to it because I had worked with her before.

But when you are actually going through the really tough times, and by the way, if you are going through a really tough time and you're doing it alone and you're feeling alone and you feel like you're drowning, I want you to know that whether it's me or another coach, you can reach out for help.

And what I know to be true is that when I'm really struggling, that's when I get more and more consistent coaching.

That's when I reach out for help.

And so one of the things that I was noticing with myself is that I was not just telling her what I thought was the best recommendation, right? And I thought, "This is so interesting.

Why am I holding back on my truth as a professional?" I've coached hundreds of women.

I know that this is what works.

And I think part of it was that I had agreed that the flexible schedule would work, and it did work, and it does work for some clients.

But for other clients, when you're going through really tough times and you don't feel like you are winning and you feel like you're burning out, this is when you should get more coaching, not less, right? This is when you should get extra oxygen and extra help, not stay stuck where you are.

Because transformation happens through repetition and through practicing choices over and over again to really interrupt these patterns.

So I already knew this.

This is the thing that I knew.

But what I noticed about myself was I was wrestling with, like, this fear of, like, that she wouldn't like what I was gonna have to tell her.

And it's interesting because doctors, they kind of like, "This is my job.

I'm here to tell you the truth, and I'm not here to manage your emotions." You know, I think doctors are taught to have a certain bedside manner in sharing the truth, but to them, like, medically, like, it's the truth.

Whereas in business it's a little tricky.

There's a lot of gray areas.

What is the truth and the real truth? But most of us don't struggle to find the truth.

Most of us, actually, and the women that I coach and the women that are listening to this podcast, like, you're brilliant, and you probably know what is true for you, whether it's a professional truth or if you stood back and you looked and you grounded yourself in your heart and in your mind, you're like, "This is what I would do, like, if there was nothing to lose." And I believe most women know this.