Settling in to School

Yeah, I think you can have a real picture in your head about how it's going to go.

I mean, certainly with my eldest, I remember the first day and I was really excited and emotional and because it's a big milestone, isn't it? And I think for most people, you know, it's they're off to school, it's a new phase and that's that book.

As we know, it doesn't always go to plan like that.

And the version of settling in is not necessarily going to be the one that you're picturing.

No.

And that's some of where the problem comes, that gap between what you're expecting, what actually happens.

And there's a lot of guilt and worry that seeps in through the seams.

So I think we should talk about that.

Yeah, let's talk a bit more honestly about what that can look like for a lot of us.

I'm sure for some families out there, I imagine it does go to like, according to the little picture books, but for the rest of us, yeah, let's talk about settling in.

What do we mean by that term? What do we mean by being settled? Because I think it's a lot of parents may be waiting for this moment where everything just clicks.

And then if it doesn't just click, you might think that you're doing something wrong.

yeah I think settled can you picture it as them being happy and skipping through the gates with their friends and just not even perhaps even waving goodbye just going on in happily it springs to mind Topsy and Tim we've watched a lot of that where they start school and you know it's all rosy and lovely and that's certainly what I was expecting the first time around

Yeah, and for a lot of autistic kids, that really isn't realistic and certainly not in the first few weeks.

No, I think a more realistic version is them getting through the day.

They're coping.

It doesn't mean it's easy for them.

And we know that it isn't going to be easy for them, don't we, with the struggles that they have.

We do.

I think that's a good way to put it.

What does settled look like, do you think, on day to day?

I think that's when they're generally happy, they're sleeping well, they're eating properly, they're not exhausted when they come through the door.

I mean, obviously they're going to be a bit tired when they're getting used to the routine, but I mean like flat out completely not able to talk, that kind of thing.

and just functioning as normally as they would probably in the holidays, I suppose.

I suppose you could look at if the mornings are getting a bit more manageable, if they're not completely wiped by the weekend, other than being completely wiped out by Wednesday or even soon.