Podcast 17: What are your family values around feeding your child?

The first one I want to start with and thinking about is basically when a baby is born.

When a baby is born, they need to eat.

And the biggest question here is around, you know, breastfeeding or bottle feeding.

And I guess the first question would be, not can, if there is a mother, sometimes there's not breast milk available, if it's, you know, gay dads, if it's an adoptive case, different things where maybe there's just not a mother present, maybe the mother died during childbirth, things happen.

And so if there's not human breast milk available, then it's a little bit assumed that it's probably going to be formula some people do seek out milk banks to get breast milk but i guess the first question would be you know do they want to provide breast milk or do they want to provide formula but even before that there's an assumption there's an assumption that the mother not just wants to but can there are women that just do not want to breastfeed And there's nothing wrong with that.

That's a judgment choice that every person can make, and we don't need to know why or why not.

It's just to respect that.

But is it asked? Is it asked in the first place? Or is it said on the parent's side in the first place, you know, we don't wanna try breastfeeding, we're just gonna do formula.

That's fine.

There are options out there.

But to assume that every woman wants to do breastfeeding, But most often than not, the opposite happens in many different medical systems with doctors, nurses.

This could be in just a standard hospital after a baby is born.

It could be more in intensive care, maybe in the NICU, or it could be with other types of providers like a breastfeeding specialist, you know, a lactation counselor, IBCLC, or feeding therapists, or pediatrician, a lot of times it is thought that the mother, if the mother is not producing enough, then they need to supplement immediately.

Without putting a lot of effort or questions or asking parents, you know, what have you tried and, you know, what kind of support would you like to see? Is there ways and strategies that she could produce more if she isn't producing enough? How to encourage that? Because first of all, number one factor of milk production is stress.

And then you tell a mom that she's not producing enough, and then she's going to be more stressed and not produce more.

So how are we supporting families in a positive and encouraging and nonjudgmental way? And for families that have a child that has some sort of a, you know, challenging start of life, medical trauma.

Maybe there was difficulty with birth.

Maybe there's some sort of a genetic condition or other types of congenital physical conditions that they need to have medical support with when they're born.

So many of those decisions are taken away from parents because the child needs to be in the care of the medical team.

But even something as simple as breast milk, right? If the mom wants to pump and then are they prioritizing that? And when it's time to feed, if there's a team that's doing, you know, supported learning feeding time for this baby, are they getting the mom's breast milk or are they just using a formula? And I used to work in the NICUs.

I've seen this all the time that the medical team, the feeding team would not call the parent for the parent to feed the child, would not assure that we're using the breast milk if the mom was saving breast milk, because you have to warm it up and that takes time, or we're just using the standard formula that's provided.

And all of those decisions that aren't being asked, that aren't being prioritized for the parent and that child bond, in my opinion is, is just malpractice and detrimental.

Fortunately, there's been a lot of research and support that have changed a lot of hospital systems to really prioritize parents feeding their baby if their baby is in the hospital, and also to encourage breast milk.

And even if it's not that mom's breast milk, do they have milk banks? And it can still be a donor milk if that's the parent's wish and priority and value.

So thinking about how to express that, how to communicate that, and how to advocate for that, parents, for your child, but medical providers to ask.

The first one I want to start with and thinking about is basically when a baby is born.

When a baby is born, they need to eat.

And the biggest question here is around, you know, breastfeeding or bottle feeding.

And I guess the first question would be, not can, if there is a mother, sometimes there's not breast milk available, if it's, you know, gay dads, if it's an adoptive case, different things where maybe there's just not a mother present, maybe the mother died during childbirth, things happen.

And so if there's not human breast milk available, then it's a little bit assumed that it's probably going to be formula some people do seek out milk banks to get breast milk but i guess the first question would be you know do they want to provide breast milk or do they want to provide formula but even before that there's an assumption there's an assumption that the mother not just wants to but can there are women that just do not want to breastfeed And there's nothing wrong with that.

That's a judgment choice that every person can make, and we don't need to know why or why not.

It's just to respect that.

But is it asked? Is it asked in the first place? Or is it said on the parent's side in the first place, you know, we don't wanna try breastfeeding, we're just gonna do formula.

That's fine.

There are options out there.

But to assume that every woman wants to do breastfeeding, But most often than not, the opposite happens in many different medical systems with doctors, nurses.

This could be in just a standard hospital after a baby is born.

It could be more in intensive care, maybe in the NICU, or it could be with other types of providers like a breastfeeding specialist, you know, a lactation counselor, IBCLC, or feeding therapists, or pediatrician, a lot of times it is thought that the mother, if the mother is not producing enough, then they need to supplement immediately.

Without putting a lot of effort or questions or asking parents, you know, what have you tried and, you know, what kind of support would you like to see? Is there ways and strategies that she could produce more if she isn't producing enough? How to encourage that? Because first of all, number one factor of milk production is stress.

And then you tell a mom that she's not producing enough, and then she's going to be more stressed and not produce more.

So how are we supporting families in a positive and encouraging and nonjudgmental way? And for families that have a child that has some sort of a, you know, challenging start of life, medical trauma.

Maybe there was difficulty with birth.

Maybe there's some sort of a genetic condition or other types of congenital physical conditions that they need to have medical support with when they're born.

So many of those decisions are taken away from parents because the child needs to be in the care of the medical team.

But even something as simple as breast milk, right? If the mom wants to pump and then are they prioritizing that? And when it's time to feed, if there's a team that's doing, you know, supported learning feeding time for this baby, are they getting the mom's breast milk or are they just using a formula? And I used to work in the NICUs.

I've seen this all the time that the medical team, the feeding team would not call the parent for the parent to feed the child, would not assure that we're using the breast milk if the mom was saving breast milk, because you have to warm it up and that takes time, or we're just using the standard formula that's provided.

And all of those decisions that aren't being asked, that aren't being prioritized for the parent and that child bond, in my opinion is, is just malpractice and detrimental.

Fortunately, there's been a lot of research and support that have changed a lot of hospital systems to really prioritize parents feeding their baby if their baby is in the hospital, and also to encourage breast milk.

And even if it's not that mom's breast milk, do they have milk banks? And it can still be a donor milk if that's the parent's wish and priority and value.

So thinking about how to express that, how to communicate that, and how to advocate for that, parents, for your child, but medical providers to ask.