Stop Putting Kids Before Marriage: Couples Therapy with Letty and Lenny

So with that in mind, this is where we come up with a plan.

How can we begin the process of building that connection and really believing that this is ministry? God has called us to the ministry of marriage so that our ministry can overflow to the people around us and to one another.

And I would say it starts with finding opportunities, space to actually connect.

So similar to what you've been doing practically, like let's find a time to have sex.

Similar to that, We want to create a time to connect, to talk about things of the heart, to just share with one another.

One of the things I recommend for couples to do on a weekly basis is a marriage check-in.

It's not a date night.

It's a check-in night.

Sometimes I differentiate.

I say dates are great and they're important.

Dates are the fun of marriage.

Okay, go out, have a good time, go for a walk, watch a movie, go get dinner.

That's great.

But you can walk away from a date still feeling disconnected if you aren't doing the work of marriage, which is intentional connection.

So I say have a 30-minute period each week that you call your check-in time, your marriage check-in time.

And I understand that at the end of the night can be hard to connect.

But if you know in advance we're checking in on this night, what's the easiest night of the week for you? Choose that night.

Maybe it's Tuesday night at 9.30 when the kids go to bed or 10 o'clock.

Or maybe it's Saturday morning.

We get up a little early while people are sleeping and we do our check-in at Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon while everyone's distracted and, you know, come home from church.

Maybe kids are playing or doing something in Sunday afternoon.

So you have to sit down and map out the time that works for you.

And the goal of this 30-minute check-in is to build spiritual and emotional connection.

That's the goal.

To have deeper conversation, to have intentionality.