Jun 22, 2026 · 2 min · 3 segments
Last night, Monday, June 22, I was invited out to be a guest reader at the celebration of *Flash Fiction Day*. There’s a competition and short-listed entrants (and some long-listed one) read their…
Simon SweetmanHost[laughs]

One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you smaller, right? The ones my mother gave me didn't do anything at all, but that's 'cause they were placebos that the doctor ordered.

What else, though? Um, I like to dance like no one is watching, and the way I manage that best is once a week or so I'll be in the elevator and I'll stop it somewhere between the 12th floor and the first, and then I'll put my headphones in and just really get going, locking in with the bassline from Silly Love Songs.
[laughs]

I can listen to that song 10 times in a row, which is one way to kill an hour.

Another would be with a knife in its side while you held its neck back, I suppose.

I like to read hardback books about spina bifida, and I try to keep up with my taxidermy correspondence course, which is getting harder these days, what with the cost of couriers, and the boxes keep getting bigger.

And it can be hard to find low-flying birds to kick out of the sky or rabbits to run over second time round.

Still, swings and roundabouts, eh? Sometimes I put a packet of biscuits out for the mice.

So I dot them around the room, space each biscuit a few inches apart, those ones with the sugar on top.

It means we can all live together, but they won't come into the middle of the room and disturb me from watching the cricket.
[laughs]

One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you smaller, right? The ones my mother gave me didn't do anything at all, but that's 'cause they were placebos that the doctor ordered.

What else, though? Um, I like to dance like no one is watching, and the way I manage that best is once a week or so I'll be in the elevator and I'll stop it somewhere between the 12th floor and the first, and then I'll put my headphones in and just really get going, locking in with the bassline from Silly Love Songs.
[laughs]

I can listen to that song 10 times in a row, which is one way to kill an hour.

Another would be with a knife in its side while you held its neck back, I suppose.

I like to read hardback books about spina bifida, and I try to keep up with my taxidermy correspondence course, which is getting harder these days, what with the cost of couriers, and the boxes keep getting bigger.

And it can be hard to find low-flying birds to kick out of the sky or rabbits to run over second time round.

Still, swings and roundabouts, eh? Sometimes I put a packet of biscuits out for the mice.

So I dot them around the room, space each biscuit a few inches apart, those ones with the sugar on top.

It means we can all live together, but they won't come into the middle of the room and disturb me from watching the cricket.
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