Jun 15, 2026 · 18 min · 9 segments
In this episode of SOMAtalks, we challenge one of the biggest myths in modern wellness: that emotional freedom means either suppressing your emotions or being controlled by them. Grounded in…
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To understand why we are so tangled up in our inner lives, we have to look at the rigid stories which society tells us about emotions.
From a young age, the messages we receive generally split into two opposing ideas.
It's the narrative that says, "Stay strong, be rational, don't cry, keep your emotions under control." In this world, emotions are often viewed as messy, unpredictable, and counterproductive.
We praise people for self-control, which in the context of emotions, is often just a polite way of saying they are excellent at hiding their suffering.
If a situation feels uncomfortable, walk away." At first glance, these two approaches seem like opposites.
But if we look closer through a psychological lens, we discover that suppression and impulsive expression are actually just opposite ends of the exact same spectrum.
They are both intensely reactive defense mechanisms designed to help you escape the present moment.
When you suppress an emotion, you are trying to push it away because you are terrified it will overwhelm you.
But when you impulsively act out an emotion, when you scream, slam a door, you are also trying to push the emotion away.
You are finding a quick, explosive way to discharge the uncomfortable energy because your nervous system cannot tolerate holding it.
To understand why we are so tangled up in our inner lives, we have to look at the rigid stories which society tells us about emotions.
From a young age, the messages we receive generally split into two opposing ideas.
It's the narrative that says, "Stay strong, be rational, don't cry, keep your emotions under control." In this world, emotions are often viewed as messy, unpredictable, and counterproductive.
We praise people for self-control, which in the context of emotions, is often just a polite way of saying they are excellent at hiding their suffering.
If a situation feels uncomfortable, walk away." At first glance, these two approaches seem like opposites.
But if we look closer through a psychological lens, we discover that suppression and impulsive expression are actually just opposite ends of the exact same spectrum.
They are both intensely reactive defense mechanisms designed to help you escape the present moment.
When you suppress an emotion, you are trying to push it away because you are terrified it will overwhelm you.
But when you impulsively act out an emotion, when you scream, slam a door, you are also trying to push the emotion away.
You are finding a quick, explosive way to discharge the uncomfortable energy because your nervous system cannot tolerate holding it.
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