(Ep. 273): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - July 2026

[rock music] [punches landing] [glass shatters] [woman screams] [bell rings] [grunts] [woman screams] [gunshots] [people yelling]

All right.

Knock this shit off.

I have been having a very bad day.

Just got out of jail this morning, already have been shot at.

I was on a bus that flipped over 17 times.

Bitch tried to stab me in the bathroom, and somebody blew up my Porsche.

I'm in a bad goddamn mood.

Now, usually I don't jump in when somebody's getting beat down, but the Simplistic Reviews podcast is gonna help me straighten out the rest of my day, and I can't hear it with all y'all making all this goddamn noise.

So I suggest y'all back up, shut up, and let me listen to the episode.

'Cause you got a gun?

No, because I have a gun, and I'll pop a cap in your ass.

I don't think you've got the guts to use it.

[gunshot] [screams]

Anybody else want a limp? [rock music]

This is the Simplistic Reviews podcast.

They talk movies, they talk TV, they talk about how much they love Supergirl.

Um, sorry, there was an ellipsis here in my script for some reason.

Clearly it was a typo.

I'm your announcer, Julie, and since artificial intelligence systems around the globe consuming so much water to function is becoming a concern, I've begun doing my part to only consume 150 proof Jamaican white rum.

Here are your hosts, Matthew Stewart, DJ Valentine, and Justin Polizzi.