She's That Founder: Stop Being The Bottleneck and Lead Smarter with AI
Sep 8, 2026 · 13 min · 9 segments
*"I think trying to be a good leader is making some of us worse leaders."* Leadership isn't about being empathetic, decisive, vulnerable, confident, collaborative, and authoritative all at once. It's…
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Dawn AndrewsHost
A few months ago, I had a hard conversation I needed to have with someone on my team, and I did the thing I always do before something like that.
Should I be more direct? Should I lead with empathy first? Am I being a pushover if I give her more time? Am I being a hard ass if I don't? Should this be collaborative where we figure it out together or should I just tell her what I need? Am I supposed to be vulnerable here or is vulnerable the wrong move for what this person actually needs from me right now? Like the amount of questions that I asked myself just to deliver this piece of feedback was utterly ridiculous.
I was standing in my kitchen with my tea going cold, running through this list of leadership virtues like I was trying to pass some kind of test.
Like, be decisive, be empathetic, be confident, be approachable, have boundaries, be inspiring, be calm under pressure.
I'm trying to be 11 things at once to one human being in one conversation, and there is no version of me that can hold all of that at the same time.
24 years of this work, using tools, teaching leaders how to be better leaders, and I still stood in my kitchen running the checklist like I hadn't written half of it myself for other people, like I didn't even know what I was doing.
And that's what I want to unpack with you today because I don't think I'm the only one doing this.
If you've ever stood in your own kitchen or your rearview mirror in your car or your bathroom mirror running through a list like that before having a hard conversation, I want you to know that you're not alone in it and you're not doing anything wrong by wanting to get it right.
Here's what I've noticed in myself and in almost every founder and leader that I work with.
She's supposed to be empathetic and decisive, vulnerable and confident, collaborative and authoritative.
approachable and boundaried, inspiring and accountable, emotionally intelligent and calm under pressure and transparent all at once, all at the same time.
It reminds me of America Ferreira's speech in the Barbie movie, right? We're trying to do all of that simultaneously.
And I want to be really clear about something here because I'm not about to tell you that empathy is a problem or vulnerability is a problem or collaboration is a problem.
A few months ago, I had a hard conversation I needed to have with someone on my team, and I did the thing I always do before something like that.
Should I be more direct? Should I lead with empathy first? Am I being a pushover if I give her more time? Am I being a hard ass if I don't? Should this be collaborative where we figure it out together or should I just tell her what I need? Am I supposed to be vulnerable here or is vulnerable the wrong move for what this person actually needs from me right now? Like the amount of questions that I asked myself just to deliver this piece of feedback was utterly ridiculous.
I was standing in my kitchen with my tea going cold, running through this list of leadership virtues like I was trying to pass some kind of test.
Like, be decisive, be empathetic, be confident, be approachable, have boundaries, be inspiring, be calm under pressure.
I'm trying to be 11 things at once to one human being in one conversation, and there is no version of me that can hold all of that at the same time.
24 years of this work, using tools, teaching leaders how to be better leaders, and I still stood in my kitchen running the checklist like I hadn't written half of it myself for other people, like I didn't even know what I was doing.
And that's what I want to unpack with you today because I don't think I'm the only one doing this.
If you've ever stood in your own kitchen or your rearview mirror in your car or your bathroom mirror running through a list like that before having a hard conversation, I want you to know that you're not alone in it and you're not doing anything wrong by wanting to get it right.
Here's what I've noticed in myself and in almost every founder and leader that I work with.
She's supposed to be empathetic and decisive, vulnerable and confident, collaborative and authoritative.
approachable and boundaried, inspiring and accountable, emotionally intelligent and calm under pressure and transparent all at once, all at the same time.
It reminds me of America Ferreira's speech in the Barbie movie, right? We're trying to do all of that simultaneously.
And I want to be really clear about something here because I'm not about to tell you that empathy is a problem or vulnerability is a problem or collaboration is a problem.
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