S2E7 Ted Bundy

I know this is all stuff I've touched on before, but it got brought up again because, while camping, I finished the book I'd been reading.

I talked about it briefly last week.

This one was called Bears and Bakeries by Dylan Drakes.

It's about Lockie Sorensen, a man who gets laid off from his day job and has always dreamed of owning a bakery, but was afraid to make that leap.

As a former small business owner, boy, can I relate.

The love interest is Benedict Owens, a bear of color who is a small business advisor who meets Lockie through a mutual friend and decides to help him open his business.

The reason the book reminded me of myself was actually not the laid-off businessman turned small business owner.

It was actually Benedict.

You see, once he helps a business get open, he cuts off contact.

because he can't bear to see any of them fail.

He did his job getting them open, but is terrified he maybe steered them wrong and now made someone's life hell by being involved.

And that is how I've lived my life, always in fear that my interactions with people has hurt them, that I will be remembered as a failure who fucked them over.

Sure,

I could name a couple people who probably feel that way.

The two that jump to mind are, ha ha ha, nah, I'm not gonna actually say names.

But both of them are former employees who we tried to help out.

Things went south, I'll say mostly their fault.

But I'm sure when they tell the story, we are the villains.

I promise, I will tell their stories someday.

At first, that hurt to think of.

These were people I truly cared about.

So not only did I have the hurt of a friendly relationship ending, but knowing they walked out the door for the last time, believing I was a horrible person.

I've daydreamed dozens of times over the years of crossing paths with them.

And what would happen? Would they apologize? Would they be expecting me to? It's a situation I honestly hope doesn't happen.

Not that I can't admit when I'm wrong.