Silent Treatment #801

And this is on an email that came in that's saying, "I don't even know where to start with this.

I've been listening to your show for a while and thinking maybe you'll say something to help me make sense of what's happening in our marriage.

We've been together for 11 years.

We got three kids and a good life, honestly.

But the thing is, my husband does some things that I just can't figure out, and it's starting to wear me down.

When we disagree, and it doesn't even have to be anything big, he just goes quiet.

He doesn't storm off.

He doesn't yell.

He's just quiet.

He's still there.

He's making dinner.

He's helping with homework.

He's doing all the normal stuff, but there seems to just be this wall, and I have no idea when it's coming down or what I did to put it up.

I've tried everything.

I ask what's wrong, give him space, apologize.

Sometimes I'm not even sure what I'm apologizing for, but I do it anyway in hopes to get us back to normal.

I send a text, try to bring it up later.

Sometimes he comes back around eventually, and we just kind of move on like nothing happened.

Sometimes this takes days, and it's the not knowing that gets me.

I never know if we're okay.

I find myself watching everything I say so I don't set it off again, and I'm just tired, really tired.

He's not a bad person.

He's, he's a good dad and, and he's kind in a lot of ways.

I just don't wanna blow up my marriage over this.

I just wanna be able to have a disagreement without one of us disappearing.