Aug 12, 2026 · 41 min · 11 segments
A month ago she found out. He denied it, then admitted it. She still doesn't know if she has the full story. She's been talking to her pastor, her friends, anyone who will listen. Everyone keeps…
Sure
About a month ago, I discovered my husband has been having an emotional and a physical affair with someone he met through work.
We're both believers and have been active in our church for most of our marriage.
We talked with our pastor and his wife and some close friends who've been supportive.
Our pastor has encouraged us to pray together more, which I know is probably right, but honestly, I can barely look at my husband right now, let alone pray with him.
He's been remorseful and has answered my questions, but I find myself going over everything constantly, trying to figure out what I missed, what was real, what wasn't.
Everyone keeps telling me it'll take time, that we just need to rebuild trust, that if we do the work, we can come out stronger on the other side.
How do I ever feel safe again with someone who's capable of this? How do I stop waiting for the other shoe to drop? How do I trust him again when I'm not even sure I trust myself anymore, my own judgment, my own instincts that completely failed me? I don't really know what I'm exactly asking.
I just know I'm desperate, and I don't wanna lose my marriage, but I also don't know who I'm married to anymore." There's a lot of feeling in this.
Uh, well, it, there's a lot of things packed in there, um, heartbreaking, number one, but she doesn't trust herself.
She doesn't know who she's married to.
She wants to hold onto it, but there's-
Right, yeah.
Sure
About a month ago, I discovered my husband has been having an emotional and a physical affair with someone he met through work.
We're both believers and have been active in our church for most of our marriage.
We talked with our pastor and his wife and some close friends who've been supportive.
Our pastor has encouraged us to pray together more, which I know is probably right, but honestly, I can barely look at my husband right now, let alone pray with him.
He's been remorseful and has answered my questions, but I find myself going over everything constantly, trying to figure out what I missed, what was real, what wasn't.
Everyone keeps telling me it'll take time, that we just need to rebuild trust, that if we do the work, we can come out stronger on the other side.
How do I ever feel safe again with someone who's capable of this? How do I stop waiting for the other shoe to drop? How do I trust him again when I'm not even sure I trust myself anymore, my own judgment, my own instincts that completely failed me? I don't really know what I'm exactly asking.
I just know I'm desperate, and I don't wanna lose my marriage, but I also don't know who I'm married to anymore." There's a lot of feeling in this.
Uh, well, it, there's a lot of things packed in there, um, heartbreaking, number one, but she doesn't trust herself.
She doesn't know who she's married to.
She wants to hold onto it, but there's-
Right, yeah.
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